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It's that time of year again - a month into 1999 when we can hear the massed sound of resolutions being broken, after a butterfly-brief l...

It8217;s that time of year again 8211; a month into 1999 when we can hear the massed sound of resolutions being broken, after a butterfly-brief life notable only for the courage of their owners8217; lack of conviction.

Here are a few which could be made but probably won8217;t. The front running favourite has to be the vow made by millions on January Never again8221; to set fire to a piece of paper-wrapped plant stuck into one8217;s mouth. How about an alternative approach from the cigarette companies themselves: introducing a new cigarette onto the market with a pair of earplugs in each packet, so that smokers no longer have to listen to all the reasons why they should give up their habit.

A friend of mine has made a resolution that, because he has read so much about the dangers of smoking, he8217;s going to give up reading.

I can suggest a few resolutions secretaries and receptionists might profitably make the world over. One I know should stop telling callers she will 8220;ask the manager if he8217;s in.8221; Others might refrain from telling callers repeatedly that the party they want is out of station8217; always.

Entertainment promoters should resolve to use talent scouts instead of the Missing Bureau in their search for artistes for our stages. Some of the stars8217; relieving us of our cash started out at 78 rpm and are sinking fast, resplendent on stage in their moth-balled suits and sarees. Can we please have someone who doesn8217;t perform a medley of their greatest 8211; 19608217;s 8211; hits?

Litterbugs should resolve to jettison only one item of litter at a time from passing cars. Such consideration for our environment has long been lacking locally.

A waiter in my local restaurant should finally resolve to change his approach, he potters around his patrons asking as he believes all good waiters should : 8220;Is something wrong?8221; Close.

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A couple for the PR world, with which journalists are so often entwined: if PR8217;s must give away freebies in order to entice reporters to their press conferences, and if the freebies so often must be desk clocks of dubious taste to instill punctuality in said journalists, could the said press conferences at least start on time? Occasionally? Well, okay, once.

And again: if a PR comes around dishing out bonhomie and 1999 desk diaries, could he do it fairly immediately and not in March when I know I8217;m an after-thought soaking up a left-over?

Bureaucrats might resolve not to stare vacantly out of the window during the first part of the day. That way they will have still something to do in the second part.

Don8217;t we all work long hours in India? How about some resolutions from the boss to reduce the official work-week to a more humane 42 hours or so. It won8217;t make any difference to the average work output, which in many cases is more commensurate with a 12-hour work week, but it will make the area look more liberal.

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My own resolution? To maintain the impeccable record of years when it comes to NY resolutions. To wit : to ignore them completely. I wish you an uninhibited 1999.