Why We Scream And Shout

Because our service industry does not pay heed to logical,calm feedback.

Let me run two experiences by you. Tell me what you think is more typical on any given day. Suppose you were at the receiving end of sloppy service at whats reviewed to be a great restaurant,what would you do? Scream. Shout. Create a scene. Or quietly fill a complaint form packed with constructive criticism. You would opt for the former because if you even considered the latter,you would be labelled as a whining bh with nothing better to do. And to top it off,your piece of paper would be torn and your name would be added to a list of habitual offenders.

The hostile behaviour of our service industry forces us to be rude and obnoxious. So this column is not so much an explanation for why we behave badly. Its more of an apology. We really have no other choice. Look at what happened to me last month when I decided to give the business class of a low-budget carrier a chance. They had their family crest and business antecedents on each aircraft. I figured if they were willing to go that far,it must be classy. Wrong again. The promise was fantastic. Great price. Personalised service including private cars taking you to the aircraft instead of queuing up for a bumpy bus ride. But the delivery. Several thumbs down. As I stood in line waiting to check in,I found myself being ignored. Over and over again. Instead,a loud,pot-bellied man was allowed to cut across and was served. A pushy girl with torn jeans and body odour shoved me aside and was checked in. I watched patiently. It was a late afternoon flight and I had donned my social scientists avatar.

After 20 minutes,I quietly asked why I wasnt being attended to. Guess what I was told? We didnt think you were flying business class. Even though all the signs pointed to the obvious i.e. I was standing in the queue which had the sign that said Business class check-in. And before you ask,I was exceedingly well-dressed if outward appearances are your thing. So what did the bovine creature at the counter do when I asked for the feedback email ID? She made sure that my bag was the last to be put on the baggage carousel on arrival. With the fragile sticker ripped off. Yes,I had huge damages. But this time I chose to scream and shout. Guess what? I was taken seriously. And immediate,punitive action was taken.

I used to think it was an inherent Indian flaw that made us quick to criticise,quick to complain. In fact,I have been rather scathing about the ill-mannered raising of voice that we consider the best way to get a point of view across. I used to think keeping ones cool and offering helpful suggestions through official channels was the only way. So,I wrote a long letter on a short piece of paper and emailed it again to my rude passenger carrier. But my missive vanished without a trace. Into thin air.

I have tried to analyse this attitude many times. But I have no explanation. What is weird is that its all-pervasive. I will never forget the time I went to get beer with a friend. Now this girl is a perfectionist. I mean she draws chalk lines around her furniture so that nothing is ever out of place. We ask for an Asahi thats on the menu. The waiter insists its not on the menu even after I spell it out for him. Finally,I call for the manager and explain the problem. When he turned around to get our beers the Japanese ones we wanted my friend hissed at me and told me I needed to stop being rude. Because I told the management that we were not being served.

I suspect we loathe feedback because it comes from the calm,collected space of logic. You see,the ring of truth cannot be hidden by the din of screaming. It is hard to ignore whats written in black and white. Much,much harder to dismiss. The great Indian truth is we believe we are always right. Even when we are wrong. We wait for someone to screw up and then we prefer to go on the offensive. We believe moral outrage firmly puts right in our corner. So god forbid when we are cornered by constructive criticism. We just can8217;t face it. We prefer to shout out loud.