Leave Them Alone

A seven-year-old kid I know starts his day with piano lessons,comes home and does some holiday homework,chills a little before he trots off for swimming lessons,followed by an hour of taekwondo.

This is what they call summer holidays these days: non-stop,hectic activity and constant stimulation,with absolutely no time to just sit and stare. Even schools have a free period every day,with a couple of games periods thrown in,besides the lunch break. But in Delhi and Mumbai,childrens days are crammed with activities,partly because parents give into peer pressure to have high achieving kids who are not idling about or wasting time. I actually know of a couple who cancelled holiday plans so their son wouldnt miss golf lessons. Many parents suffer from a nagging feeling that theyre not doing enough and that they could be doing things differently and better. Then there are the unspoken,but inevitable comparisons when you meet other moms and dads; all of whom seem to have simply spectacular kids,effortlessly excelling in golf,tennis and swimming.

Its very hard not to fall into the over-zealous parenting trap. Should a summer holiday be a stress-filled time of learning and competition? Or should it be relaxed,full of play and about forming fulfilling friendships with friends and cousins? One can hardly blame parents for doing what they can to create brilliant children. In India,if our kids dont get 99.9 per cent they are doomed to study in obscure colleges. Life is tough,and unfortunately our kids are learning that faster than they should.

It reminds me of my own fall into the whirlwind parenting trap,when I enrolled my son into Kumon classes,a Maths enriching programme,currently the rage in Delhi. In Kumon,kids learn by repetition,by doing simple sums again and again. Im sure its a great exercise and beneficial to building a strong base for Maths; I just wish it wasnt so excruciatingly boring. (Incidentally,Forbes valued the Japan-based Kumon families wealth at $650 million). After attending a couple of classes,presided over by a stern,self-righteous teacher,my son flatly refused to go or do the work sheets,saying he couldnt bear the boredom. I guess Ill have to live with the fact that hes wont be practicing game theory in the future.

(hutkayfilms@gmail.com)

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