Opinion Priya Ramani writes | Jacinda Ardern’s resignation: Male leaders don’t think about whether or not their tanks are full

Any woman who has ever worked can relate to Ardern’s Big Resignation Shocker. We opt out of the workforce all the time because even in 2023, the world expects us, and only us, to be primary caregivers to our children and parents.

Jacinda Ardern said you cannot and should not lead a country unless you have a "full tank, plus a bit in reserve for those unexpected challenges". (Reuters Photo/File)

Priya Ramani

January 21, 2023 08:34 AM IST First published on: Jan 20, 2023 at 02:35 PM IST

Jacinda Ardern resigned. Jacinda Ardern cried when she resigned. Jacinda Ardern ended her resignation speech addressing Clarke, her partner of many years, with the line: “Let’s finally get married’. It sent shivers down my spine to watch one of the world’s most powerful working women pick her family over her country. Baby Neve will have her mummy in attendance on her first day of school, but what about the rest of us who held Ardern up as a rare example of ethical leadership? We are left feeling empty and hopeless.

I was reminded of the time Harvey Weinstein’s history of sexual harassment became public. His victims included some of Hollywood’s most powerful actors such as Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie who had stayed quiet for decades. “I was expected to keep the secret,” Paltrow had said then.

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Any woman who has ever worked can relate to Ardern’s Big Resignation Shocker. We opt out of the workforce all the time because even in 2023, the world expects us, and only us, to be primary caregivers to our children and parents. Ardern’s speech transported me back to the day I refused a top job because it would give me less time with my daughter. Nobody stopped me from accepting this offer, but I didn’t think I would have a “full tank” as Ardern put it, to do this key job alongside my other responsibilities. The man it was offered to next snapped it up in a jiffy.

What superwoman strength must it take to resist the pull of the letter Indra Nooyi’s toddler wrote her? “Dear mom, Please, please, please, please please come home. I love you, but I’d love you more if you came home.” The world ensures that women, even wildly successful ones such as the first female CEO of PepsiCo, live their lives submerged in guilt.

Nooyi also shared that infamous story about coming home late, excited about the big news she had received at work — she was going to be president and had made it to the board of directors of PepsiCo. Instead of listening, her mother sent her out to get milk. It didn’t matter that Nooyi’s husband had come home two hours earlier, her mother said he was “tired”. When she finally shared her news, Nooyi’s mother replied: “You might be president of PepsiCo. You might be on the board of directors. But when you enter this house, you’re the wife, you’re the daughter, you’re the daughter-in-law, you’re the mother… So leave that damned crown in the garage.”

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Many women leaders skip having children. It’s only now that workplaces have finally begun discussing the huge cost of losing female employees and coming up with ideas to stem this flow.

Ardern said you cannot and should not lead a country unless you have a “full tank, plus a bit in reserve for those unexpected challenges”. Male leaders don’t think about whether or not their tanks are full. For so many years US President Donald Trump’s “full tank” could easily have been a reference to the number of times he tweeted in 24 hours. So many men running countries today are fuelled by toxic fumes, their tanks empty of any empathy or ability to better the lives of their country’s citizenry.

They quash any dissent so they can continue to pretend that their country only has eyes for them. Even when they are electorally dismissed, they cling on to the threads of their power. When Brazil’s Jair’s Bolsonaro was voted out, his supporters refused to accept his defeat and stormed key government buildings in the capital.

“It is just the revenge of a pathetic dictator who lost power and tries to take revenge on all who stood up for freedom,” a leading Belarus opposition leader who heard about a trial against her from the media, tweeted earlier this year. “Belarus needs real justice, not a puppet show.” This story finds echoes in many countries.

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But as women, we feel constant pressure to be the best in the business. We come equipped with full tanks and reserve tanks, ready to take on everything life throws at us. Ardern listed some of her impressive achievements, from turning around child poverty statistics and improving pay and conditions of workers to making progress on issues around national identity. All this while dealing with “a major biosecurity incursion, a domestic terror event, a major natural disaster, a global pandemic and an economic crisis”. And having a baby.

“The decisions that had to be made have been continual, and they have been weighty,” she said. Thanks to her leadership, New Zealand’s Covid strategies were lauded across the world. And yet, it’s Ardern who resigned and not the countless male leaders who botched up during the pandemic, one even announcing he had “saved humanity” by containing the virus before a devastating wave of illness hit his country.

No wonder Ardern cried when she said she was leaving her post.

The writer is a Bengaluru-based writer and co-founder of India Love Project on Instagram