What Men Want

ADVERTISERS talk to them. Twenty-somethings with MNC jobs, hectic social lives and uncomplicated families, they are the ones the creatives p...

ADVERTISERS talk to them. Twenty-somethings with MNC jobs, hectic social lives and uncomplicated families, they are the ones the creatives picture when writing punchlines for products as varied as cars and condoms. And the feeling could be said to be mutual. Siddharth Mehta, consultant, Nishchal Suri, business head, and Sonali Prabhu, team member 8212; all employees of Hewlett Packard, New Delhi 8212; are susceptible to the messages the advertisers throw at them, so much so that sometimes the lines blur between their own ideas and the images they glean from the media. With advertisers zeroing in on 8216;complete men8217; as one of their prime product-pushing vehicles, the pressure increases on today8217;s young men to live up to expectations.

Fantastic? Not really, say these three. 8216;8216;There has been a shift in the consciousness of young men in the last few years,8217;8217; acknowledges Siddharth. 8216;8216;But more than the media, I think it has to do with the entry of women into the workplace. The thinking now is: If women can work, why can8217;t men stay at home?8217;8217;

Even if that sounds a bit unrealistic, there is little doubt among the three that role-models have changed with both men and women. 8216;8216;Once upon a time, something like a child8217;s schooling would be considered the mother8217;s preserve. Nowadays, schools insist on the father8217;s participation as well,8217;8217; says Sonali, 23. 8216;8216;This is a sign that the change is being recognised by society.8217;8217;

8216;8216;And it8217;s not just schools. So many organisations 8212; including our company 8212; offer flexi-time, which allows parents with small kids to schedule their work hours according to their convenience,8217;8217; points out Nishchal.

Okay, so societal changes corroborate the media ideas, but has anything really changed closer home? Nishchal, for one, doesn8217;t buy the 8216;complete man8217; concept at all. 8216;8216;It8217;s an ideal that can8217;t be achieved,8217;8217; says the 29-year-old. 8216;8216;People are expected to have these 8216;complete8217; lives, fit in everything, from changing diapers to cooking gourmet meals, and from running perfect homes to earning kudos at work. But it doesn8217;t work that way.8217;8217;

8216;8216;I have friends who do a great job balancing work, home and family,8217;8217; interjects Siddharth. But he agrees with Nishchal that with most people, work takes priority over everything else. 8216;8216;Before I got married a couple of years ago, the only pressure I used to feel would be from friends who finished work at 6.30-7 pm and couldn8217;t figure out why I had to put in longer hours than they did,8217;8217; says Siddharth. 8216;8216;After marriage, I do put in more effort trying to balance home and work. Having said that, I agree that work is Priority No. 1. No one can be the complete man all the time.8217;8217;

At this point, Nishchal comes up with an interesting observation. 8216;8216;Actually, I think there8217;s a gender issue at work here in India. A man can work long hours, no questions asked. But there is so much pressure on the woman 8212; she has to be a good daughter-in-law, a good wife, a good mother, in addition to being the good professional. Also, I think working married women have to battle an instinct that dictates they be at home after marriage. I think this instinct is much stronger in women than in men.8217;8217;

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Sonali nods sagely. 8216;8216; It has to do with social conditioning. Most of us have these expectations drilled into us from an early age, women know the situation will change for them after marriage.

Nishchal has the last word: 8216;8216;I think the ads have it wrong. Instead of concentrating on the complete man, I think ads should be about the complete woman 8212; multi-tasking comes much more naturally to them.8217;8217;