Straight Face

A poem Vajpayee never wroteThere are times when I feel like Shah Rukh Khan,They've plastered my photographs all over town.In the NDA mani...

A poem Vajpayee never wrote

There are times when I feel like Shah Rukh Khan,
They8217;ve plastered my photographs all over town.
In the NDA manifesto they have me playing Holi,
It8217;s enough to make a 78-year-old feel silly.
No one knows what it8217;s like to be ABV,
They8217;ve turned me into a walking tragedy!

They8217;re selling me like a bar of bathing soap,
I8217;ve got to perform at the end of their rope.
They need me desperately to work up a lather,
To keep the crowds coming, to blather and blather.
No one quite knows what it8217;s like to be ABV,
They8217;ve turned me into a walking tragedy!

They say I8217;m tried, I8217;m tested, I8217;m trusted,
They need me, they, say to get the Congress busted.
So I go to the people and scream, Vote for Us!,
It8217;s not the Hand you now need, but the Lotus.8217;
Got to clamber on podiums and talk about Kargil,
Got to babble about victory, just babble at will.
Yell 8220;Jai Hind8221; to all and sundry every other minute,
This is the lasttime I8217;ll do it, everything has a limit!
No one quite knows what it8217;s like to be ABV,
They8217;ve turned me into a walking tragedy!

They tell me I8217;ve got to target the lady,
Pretend I8217;m the general and SHE, the enemy.
Bar the window, shut the door, come on, hurry, hurry,
Bar her in the manifesto, airdrop Sushma over Bellary.
No one quite knows what it8217;s like to be ABV,
They8217;ve turned me into a walking tragedy!

They8217;ve made it something of the party religion,
To expound, not on health or schools, but Her Origin.
We have to take care to shield this 5000-year civilisation,
It may splinter like fine glass if WE don8217;t lead the nation.
No one quite knows what it8217;s like to be ABV,
They8217;ve turned me into a walking tragedy!

I8217;m a poet, remember, on Hiroshima I once wrote,
Now they8217;ve gone and got me into a nuclear hotspot.
Yes, it8217;s to be my hand, my hand, on the red button,
It8217;s enough to make even that Ravan feel rotten.
No one quite knowswhat it8217;s like to be ABV,
They8217;ve turned me into a walking tragedy!

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Earlier it used to be Advani8217;s sails that were in trim,
That was years ago he he, before the Babri Masjid got him!
Now it8217;s me who is the BJP8217;s favourite, the 8220;moderate8221; mask,
I confess it8217;s a sham, sometimes I don8217;t feel up to the task.
No one quite knows what it8217;s like to be ABV,
They8217;ve turned me into a walking tragedy!

Everybody likes me, whether it is Patel or Samata,
Whether its Karunanidhi, Naidu, or even old Mamata.
Got to take them with me, so wide and so far,
All for the glory of the great Sangh Parivar.