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A character in a popular Victorian play, The Rivals, by the name of Miss Malaprop had a predilection for mistakenly using similar sounding words to produce unintentionally amusing effect.

Blown to 8216;pieces8217;
A character in a popular Victorian play, The Rivals, by the name of Miss Malaprop had a predilection for mistakenly using similar sounding words to produce unintentionally amusing effect. This has given rise to the noun malapropism in English. An excellent illustration of this was seen in the High Court recently. In an affidavit, an ex-serviceman wrote, 8220;I am a piece-loving citizen of India.8221; An irked High Court judge said, 8220;How many pieces of India do you have? At least learn to your file your affidavits properly.8221; It is better to keep one8217;s spellings intact, to ensure PEACE and avoid courting trouble.

Liquor love
Punjabs8217; inherent love of liquor is well documented. Now this fascination is also shared by its top bureaucrats and some of them take it a bit too far, literally. This came to light recently when the official car of a Secretary-level officer was sent to Sector 28 for repairs. On opening the boot of the car, the mechanics were stunned to find an elaborate bar of sorts which would give complex to any upmarket pub8217;s collection. The boot was neatly carpeted and on one side, a whole range of expensive liquor bottles jostled for space. On the other side was a quaint little refrigerator which comprised bottles of soda, soft drinks, juices and other accompaniments. Just to make sure the experience was complete, there were some namkeen and snack packets strewn around.

What is your mobile number?
Intoxications apart, Punjab8217;s bureaucracy is in fact very vigilant these days. The murmurs of some of their phones being tapped by the Vigilance had originated a few days ago. Now these have turned into a resonant chorus. Conscious of being snooped upon, several officers have invested in new cellphones. So now they carry two phones and are very discreet about the newly-acquired number. It is not shared with anyone and is kept strictly for 8216;personal8217; calls.

That wasn8217;t a bomb
The terror attacks in Mumbai have made people jittery about the slightest of sounds. This was evident during the inauguration of the Night Food Street in Sector 14. Someone accidentally knocked off a bottle of soft drink which came crashing down to the ground. The noise was enough to scare everyone in the gathering, including local MP and Union Minister of State for Finance Pawan Bansal. It was when people realised that it was not the sound of the gun shot that they heaved a sigh of relief and gave sheepish grins.

Rajasthan ahoy!
The star young politicians of the region read the politicians which their party high command think have some appeal beyond their states have been conspicuously missing from the states. Actually all of them have been deputed by their party high commands to canvass in the Rajasthan elections. Three examples are Randeep Surjewala, Manpreet Badal and Deepender Hooda. Last week, while the former two were in the Hanumangarh district, the latter was crisscrossing what is now India8217;s largest state area wise with his friend, contemporary and fellow MP Sachin Pilot.

Smuggling
The Rajasthan election-effect goes beyond polity. The disparity in state excise duties ensures that there is considerable difference in the liquor prices in Haryana and Rajasthan. As a result, smuggling of liquor is rife from the border district of Haryana, viz Rewari, Mahendragarh and Bhiwani. All these are contiguous to Rajasthan and cheaper liquor is finding its way into the state. A perturbed Rajasthan government even wrote to Haryana. It remains to be seen if the state government will undertake any action. After all, it is leading to increasing revenues for Haryana and as old-timers say there is an unwritten rule of excise business in the states. Be extra-vigilant about the liquor that is smuggled in and just ignore the liquor that is smuggled out.