How much interference is too much? Therapist-approved strategies for parents to navigate teen independence

Some adolescents prefer privacy, but that doesn't mean they don't need you. Each child is different, and customisation is key.

Create a balance where your teen doesn’t feel deprived of experiences but also doesn’t overindulge. (Source: Freepik)

As a teen parent, you may have experienced numerous situations where they snapped at you for being too interfering or asked for their “space.” This can be very confusing for a parent who is used to taking care of a child who once needed them for everything and now wants to take decisions independently.

Here are a few therapist-approved strategies to help you navigate these tricky situations maturely.

– Understand the need for privacy

Agreed, it is normal for parents to worry about their child’s welfare, but that should not be a reason to deny them their basic right to privacy. As teenagers, they may have different topics to discuss with friends. It could range from a new crush to life goals. We should understand they would not want to divulge every detail, and demonstrate we respect their identity. This would gain us their respect as individuals, and eventually, they will open up more.

– Tailor parenting as per your teen’s needs

Some adolescents prefer privacy, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need you. Each child is different, and customisation is key. On their emotionally overwhelming days, avoid being the typical satirical parent with phrases like “I told you so” or “Had you listened to me…”. Offer logical suggestions later. Some teenagers need more hand holding than others, take the time to understand and meet your child’s specific needs.

– Understand cultural blend

In this digital age of cultural blending, some households may have norms like not having to take permission to go out, casual night outs, or cafe hopping, which might not be common in your family. Create a balance where your teen doesn’t feel deprived of experiences but also doesn’t overindulge. For example, you could allow your teenager to have a fun day with friends twice a month instead of being rigid. Explain the pros and cons and provide opportunities for them to learn and grow responsibly.

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– Accept their mistakes and move on

Teenagers are often mocked for their mistakes. It is okay once in a while, but constant teasing can make them feel incompetent and unworthy of making decisions. We should normalise situational errors and motivate them to improve personal ones. Anger is natural when teens go in the wrong direction, but it’s important to create a protective environment. For example, if your teen spends too much time on screens, instead of taking their phones away, mutually decide on a device usage time frame. This helps them learn experientially.