A doll for my daughter

In the flat situated across ours stayed an upper middle class family fromUttar Pradesh. It was a family comprising an old couple, their two sons anddaughters-in-law and two grandchildren a boy and a girl. I pitied theirgranddaughter who was more often than not seen with a doll in her hand.Perfect recipe for a doormat existence in later life, I mused.

My relationship with our neighbours never went beyond a few casualencounters. But the same could not be said for my daughter who befriendedChinky, their granddaughter, and started visiting them.

One day, the bombshell dropped. Sruti, my daughter, insisted she wanted adoll, and a kitchen set to boot! The reason: Chinky has them and they aremore fun to play with than cars and puzzles. I was aghast.

Next day, I checked with my colleagues whether this was a behaviouralaberration. To my relief, I was told their daughters too had made severalunsuccessful demands for dolls and kitchen sets. Repeatedly turning downsuch unacceptable requests worked over a period of time, I was told.

But my daughter turned out to be the more persistent type. Every day as Iwas back from office she would want to know when she would get her doll.On my daughter’s birthday, to my consternation, Chinky gifted her a Nonie (alife-like one-foot doll) and a kitchen set. My husband and I could not doanything about the presence of the doll and the kitchen set under thecircumstances.

A few days later, as I was getting ready for office my daughter sat on thebed playing with her doll, by then fondly named `Googoo’. She was leaning onthe headboard with her legs extended with Googoo on her lap and lovinglytalking to the `baby’ all the time brushing its hair. I stood transfixed.Have I not heard the same words she was telling Googoo? Is not the actionvery familiar something which I do every morning for my daughter? Yes, shewas playing mama-Sruti.

On the way to office I kept wondering whether I was doing the right thing bydepriving her of a toy she loved to have. Is not the act of refusing a girldolls just because she is a girl as odious as refusing to let her have a carbecause of her gender? What does she know at this tender age about genderbias and equality of sexes?

Is not the act of her father who always gets up first and makes tea for hermother and serves it on the bed a better education on gender equality forher? Is not the sight of both her parents working together in the kitchenwhipping up dinner after coming back from office an image she is going tocarry to her adulthood?

That day I decided I did not want to be part of that group which deniedtheir daughters a doll because of their gender. And that evening my daughterreceived her first doll bought by her mama.