‘Couldn’t you have worn higher heels’: When Virat Kohli’s nervous joke fell flat with Anushka Sharma; how to recover gracefully

But the attempt at humour didn’t land. “She just gave me a look and said, ‘Excuse me?’ I immediately realised I had messed up and tried to laugh it off. Inside, I felt like a complete idiot,” Kohli confessed. He also acknowledged how confident Anushka appeared, noting that “she was no stranger to film sets,” while he fumbled through the interaction. 

This kind of social misstep, driven by nervousness and fear of rejection, is more common than people might think, and it often stems from deeper insecurities or pressure to impress.

But, why do people often overthink first impressions?

Dr Sapare Rohit, consultant psychiatrist at Maarga Mind Care, tells indianexpress.com, “First impressions hold weight because they set the tone for how we expect to be perceived and received. When meeting someone new, especially in a setting charged with admiration or expectation, there’s a natural tendency to over-analyze how we come across. This can trigger a heightened state of self-awareness, where even casual conversation feels loaded with significance.”

 

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Nervousness can cause people to overcompensate, speak impulsively, or default to humor in a way that may not always land as intended. “This isn’t a flaw, it’s a reflection of our desire to connect and be accepted. In moments of social pressure, the mind can race ahead while the body tries to keep up, leading to awkward pauses, unusual comments, or even self-sabotaging behaviors. Compassion for oneself in these moments is key, as is remembering that vulnerability is often far more relatable than perfection,” notes Dr Sapare. 

What role does insecurity play in how someone communicates during initial interactions?

Insecurity can shape how we perceive ourselves in relation to others, Dr Sapare says, especially in unfamiliar or high-stakes interactions. If someone feels uncertain about their appearance, background, or social standing, they might either hold back or try too hard to impress, often without realising it. This internal tension can manifest as hesitation, self-deprecating humor, or the need to prove oneself.

“It’s important to understand that these responses are usually protective in nature, they’re attempts to manage perceived judgment. The more individuals feel comfortable in their skin, the more authentically and calmly they tend to engage with others,” he notes.

How can someone recover gracefully when a joke or comment doesn’t land the way they intended?

When a comment doesn’t land as expected, it’s natural to feel a rush of embarrassment. But the ability to recover lies in how we respond next. “A light-hearted acknowledgment, can help defuse the tension and demonstrate social maturity,” suggests Dr Sapare. 

Gracefully navigating such moments also involves reading the room and showing sensitivity to how others may have perceived the remark. Dr Sapare explains, “If necessary, a simple and sincere clarification can go a long way. Most people appreciate authenticity over performance; the willingness to laugh at oneself or own a misstep with humility often leaves a stronger, more positive impression than the original comment ever could.”