‘She ties my shoelaces’: Music director Ismail Darbar reveals how he moved on after separation from his first marriage with Farzana; expert on being emotionally ready

He also spoke about Ayesha’s decision to convert to Islam “of her own free will” and praised her for giving up her career to support their family. “She dresses me even today, she ties my shoelaces. She left her glamour career behind for our children,” Ismail said. 

So, when someone enters a new relationship soon after a separation, how can they tell whether they are emotionally ready?

Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani tells indianexpress.com, “Entering a new relationship soon after a separation often brings emotional overlap, making it difficult to distinguish between a genuine connection and an attempt to fill a void. An emotionally ready person usually shows signs of acceptance and closure from the past—they can reflect on the previous relationship without anger or longing, and their sense of self remains stable even without a partner.” 

On the other hand, she adds, when someone seeks comfort or distraction, they may idealise the new partner, rush emotional intimacy, or depend on the relationship to soothe unresolved pain. A useful indicator is emotional regulation—if one can tolerate solitude and manage feelings without seeking immediate reassurance, it suggests readiness for a healthy bond.

 

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Healthy ways for both individuals to navigate the emotional balance between love, gratitude, and personal autonomy

When a new partner makes significant life changes, it’s essential to maintain a sense of self while nurturing the relationship. Healthy emotional balance involves mutual respect for autonomy and the understanding that love should not demand the loss of identity. 

“Psychological maturity in relationships comes from differentiation — the ability to stay emotionally connected without merging identities. Partners should communicate openly about the motivations behind such changes, ensuring they stem from personal conviction rather than pressure to please or belong. Gratitude can coexist with boundaries when both individuals acknowledge each other’s sacrifices while preserving personal growth and authenticity,” remarks Gurnani. 

Adapting to new dynamics in blended households 

In blended families, children often experience loyalty conflicts and emotional confusion as they adjust to new parental figures. The key lies in creating psychological safety, allowing them to express their feelings without judgment or expectation of taking sides. 

“Consistency, transparency, and cooperative co-parenting help children internalise stability amid change. Step-parents should enter the dynamic gradually, building trust through shared experiences rather than authority. Parents, meanwhile, must maintain open communication, ensuring that affection and attention toward the child remain constant. Over time, empathy, patience, and validation of each member’s emotions can foster respect and connection, allowing the new family structure to evolve naturally and securely,” concludes Gurnani.