Sleep Divorce: Should couples be sleeping in separate bedrooms?

“I will go and sleep in my room,” she explained to hosts Molly Sims and Emese Gormley. “You go sleep in your room. I’m fine.”

“And we have the bedroom in the middle that we can convene in for our relations,” she added.

Diaz emphasised that she held this belief even before marrying Madden. “By the way, I don’t feel that way now because my husband is so wonderful,” she clarified. “I said that before I got married.”

Diaz emphasised that she held this belief even before marrying Madden. (Source: AP photo/ Express Archive)

Diaz’s choice of having a separate bedroom or sleep divorce has sparked a debate on marital dynamics, with many netizens jumping into the argument.

According to Dr Pavana S, consultant psychiatrist, relationship expert and sexologist, Bangalore, while this may work well for some, practicality in middle-class Indian households involves unique challenges such as space constraints and cultural norms.

“Finding a balance that suits both partners emotionally and practically is crucial, emphasising open communication and compromise,” she noted.

Interestingly, a survey earlier this year from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found that more than one-third of couples sleep in separate beds. But many studies have also shown the benefits of sharing a bed with your partner.

According to a study published in August 2022 in Sleep, the official journal of the Sleep Research Society, sleeping with your partner can improve your sleep quality and overall mental health.

Is there such a thing as too much personal space?

The concept of personal space varies among individuals and couples. While autonomy is vital, excessive personal space can lead to emotional distance,explained Dr Pavana. It is essential to find a balance, and that involves open dialogue, understanding each other’s needs, and being attuned to subtle cues.

Regular check-ins on the comfort level and adjustments are key to ensuring a healthy and connected relationship,” noted Dr Pavana.

How do you ask for personal space from your partner?

In a marriage, expressing the need for personal space requires sensitivity, said Dr Pavana. She gave some pointers on how to ask for personal space, if you need it.

• Open communication is paramount – express your feelings without blaming or criticising your partner.
• Frame it as a positive desire for self-growth and rejuvenation.
• Offering reassurance and suggesting mutually satisfying compromises fosters understanding, ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected in the process.