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This is an archive article published on September 6, 2012
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Opinion Walking on coals

MPs were involved in studio shoot-outs,Lok Sabha TV focused on child labour,and Mumbai rains made everything soggy

Shailaja Bajpai

September 6, 2012 02:23 AM IST First published on: Sep 6, 2012 at 02:23 AM IST

It’s not easy being Lok Sabha TV. Or Rajya Sabha TV. In a very,very good year,they may broadcast parliamentary proceedings for up to 90-100 days. In a very,very bad year (2010 and 2012) with the constant disruptions,they may end up with half that number. So what are they supposed to broadcast instead?

These are channels run by Lok Sabha and the government. They are supposed to relay parliamentary proceedings in both Houses into people’s homes. They are supposed to showcase how our parliamentary democracy of 1.2 billion people conducts the affairs of the people. Since Parliament opened on August 8,what we’ve witnessed is grown men and women,predominantly dressed in white,flapping up and down like agitated seagulls. Then Parliament adjourns for the day and MPs fly out of the door.

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Had Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha TV been private channels,they’d have done what the private channels do in similar circumstance: invite the parliamentarians to a studio shoot-out. But they are run on public funds,they are supposed to celebrate parliamentary democracy,not burn holes into it,so what can they do? Well,what they do is telecast discussions,with or without our honourable representatives,on worthy topics like child labour,contract labour or documentaries on the genius of India like Jagadish Chandra Bose (Monday). What else to do?

“Yeh kya ho raha hai? Yeh kyon ho raha hai?” demanded Zee News on Monday. Couldn’t agree more. “Kya retirement ka time aa gaya?” Maybe,seeing that he’s walking on coals,Manmohan Singh should retire hurt. Except that the questions were not for him but for the one and only Sachin with a T. “Kya Sachin ko sanyas lena chahiye? Kya Sachin soch rahe hain sanyas ke baare mein? Kya sochna chahiye?” asked ABP after the Rajya Sabha MP had been clean bowled on the third successive occasion. The answers to those questions depend on whom you ask. For instance,ask the BJP if the PM should retire,and they reply,“Yes”. Ask the Congress and they say,“No”. So. There’s only one way to settle the matter about Tendulkar: ask the little master himself. To which Zee News had a supplementary question: “If you are a big shot (they used the word ‘mahaan’),can you decide when you will retire?”

In Sachin Tendulkar’s case,most agree,yes he can (like US President Barack Obama,who is looking for a second innings?). Nevertheless,news channels debated the issue on Monday. The most interesting discussion was on Headlines Today with Sourav Ganguly,Chetan Chauhan and Rahul Mehra,who is described on Twitter as “lawyer,sports enthusiast,activist and public spirited person wanting to transform Indian sports”. That’s it?

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Personally,I think he should replace Rahul Kanwal as an HT TV news anchor instead,so many questions did he ask Sourav Ganguly. Ganguly didn’t do badly,either,with his queries. Goaded by Mehra on the role of the selectors,that selectors would never drop Sachin because he attracts the crowds,Ganguly asked Chauhan: “I hear you’re going to be the (national) selector from North Zone,will you drop Sachin?” Chauhan smiled like a cat about to lick the cream: let me get there first,he replied. When Rahul Kanwal finally made his presence felt and ended the free-for-all,he said he wished the discussion had been about India’s series win instead. Really? We believe Sachin will not be dropped — from the news channels because he brings in the viewership for them just as he does the crowds into the stadiums.

The rains flooded Mumbai on Monday and the water collected in the mouths of the poor correspondents drenched on the job. None more so than the HT reporter who spoke of there being no high tide,so the waters should “recide”,when he meant “recede” and that “it looks like the water woos of Mumbai will end”,when he meant “water woes”. Moral of the tale: like mama said,never speak with your mouth full — of water or anything else.

Indian Idol 6 (Sony) ended with Vipul Mehta the winner,no surprises there. More surprising was the dress worn by Priyanka Chopra,a guest at the finale. It was a short red dress,off one shoulder and barely buttock-hugging. And they censored The Dirty Picture where Vidya Balan uncovers the sari?

shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com