Wild Women

After spending a few days in Bombay, a friend visiting from Australia subtly enquired what the women in the city were like...

After spending a few days in Bombay, a friend visiting from Australia subtly enquired what the women in the city were like. I prefer subjects I have a fair amount of knowledge on, so chose to take my time before answering. I decided to decode their body language and began by keenly observing how they smiled at each other.

Woman 1 A pseudo-intellect, falling style icon and perennially opinionated on subjects from biogenetics to the sev puri at Juhu beach. She rushes to Woman 2 reeking of falsehood, she clutches her to her bosom, compliments her, her children and her cats. Not one to miss an opportunity she quickly fixes a lunch rendezvous for the following week. Her smile is plastered throughout and remains just the same when she does a repeat performance with Woman 3. Woman 1 represents the made-in-China fake, plastic smile.

Woman 2 Well turned out Botoxed face, extremely conscious of the other women8217;s status, she is a super networker and is actually an achiever as she has no ego when it comes to getting what she wants. Has a set of perfect white gleaming teeth but her smile freezes before your head turns and she8217;s spotted her next victim, the bigger fish. She bares her fake implants teeth and breasts but fails to make much of an impact with other women. Despite both not giving each other enough importance, women 1 and 2 inevitably end up smiling and chatting animatedly all evening with each other out of no choice. Both are established fakes.

Woman 3 She8217;s confident, powerful and can get the grimiest group of girls in a giggling fit. She smiles effortlessly at everyone yet manages to retain the right amount of that mysterious aura. Her husband has billions in the bank and she has a brain to boast of. She injects laughter wherever she goes. Everyone wants a part of her. Women 1 and 2 smile at her even when she sneezes.

Woman 4 Arrogant, has probably not read a book since school, has no interest in foreign affairs but definitely in her neighbour8217;s. Her claim to fame is her very wealthy and powerful husband. She can8217;t decide whether to be city bitch or rural baby so instead lands up ignoring most women on a whim.

Seriously soulless, her smile only exposes her insecurity. She can8217;t adjust to her wealth or position and looks down upon even her husband. She has forgotten her small-town roots Chandigarh is not that far and wants others to fawn over. It really has nothing to do with her and in all possibility she acknowledges the said truth. Maybe the hardest part for her is to smile after all. Woman 4 is seriously uncool.

Woman 5 Decidedly grumpy. She rarely smiles unless Women 3 and 4 want her to. She treats the rest with utmost disdain. Extremely bright and exceedingly beautiful, God compensated bygiving her no heart. She has self-appointed herself as 8216;most-wanted8217; at all social soirees and is most often walking around with a grim smirk. Women 1 and 2 are best advised to stay away from her barbs as no smile can dent or penetrate 5 unless of course you have 38217;s money or 48217;s power. She is convinced she has both.

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After several recent root canals, my smile is redundant. Confined to my bed, I8217;ve been taking interest in tigers8217; fangs on National Geographic8212;they seem less intimidating than these women8217;s gleaming teeth. My friend shortened her stay in Bombay and took the flight out to Ranthambore.