Transformers

What can you say about a film on shape-changing robots, which can become automobiles, planes or machines of any kind but which are dangerous and armed in any form they take, and they come in two races?

What can you say about a film where these machines, assembling and de-assembling, fight, crush, blast and fire at each other for nearly three hours over a cube? And, when they take a break, try to hack into America8217;s security system for ostensibly no reason except to add to their cool quotient.

What can you say about a film where, as you may have guessed, the rest of the plot is just secondary to these, no doubt, spectacularly mounted and executed machines and fights?

Perhaps the following might apply:

a You are a generation born the wrong side of Eighties. 1983 was when the first Transformer toyline first came out, and the rest 8212; through newer toylines, comics, a TV series, an animated film and now a live one 8212; as they say is history.

b You should definitely not go for the film if you think anyone wants to see Transformers for its script.

c Still, if you do end up in the hall, take solace from the fact that someone did some quick reading. Some of the 8220;war8221; happens in West Asia, there is a President blissfully unaware of what8217;s happening on his own aircraft as his soldiers risk their lives on the ground, a Secretary of Defense who looks suspiciously like Donald Rumsfeld, and a Sergeant who keeps reeling out words like NBE 1 Non-Biological Entity 1, and tells the others they must try to keep up with the acronyms. Of course there is also a nose-digging Indian who takes an emergency call for Pentagon at one of the calling centres and starts telling the caller about their premium services.

d On the other hand, if this is what will keep you going through Transformers, again, dude, people like us, we just don8217;t get the picture.