Theirs and ours

Fiction often reveals what facts hide. That is the single most important reason to watch Khiladi Zee. As its name suggests, the serial is...

Fiction often reveals what facts hide. That is the single most important reason to watch Khiladi Zee. As its name suggests, the serial is about a player, more precisely, a soccer star. In last week8217;s episode, he was negotiating a transfer to a new team with a particularly vile-looking man who wears dark glasses indoors a habit all bad characters on TV have acquired and has this nervous habit of stroking his own hair. Amit Behl, who plays the athletic footballer, settles for Rs 12 lakhs and there are handshakes all around. Then the said vile man turns, stops and suggests while stroking his hair, that Behl might like to begin working for him by ensuring that in the next game, Behl8217;s team, Yugantar should er8230; manage to lose?

Next we hope to find out how matches are fixed, how players agree to defeat their own teams. Maybe then we8217;ll appreciate what Manoj Prabhakar meant about players being bribed-to-lose. Don8217;t miss it.

If you miss The Kiron Joneja Show STAR Plus you won8217;t really regret it. Why this talk show is prime time on Saturdays, defies reason. Ms.Joneja looks delightful, especially in the all-white attires she favours; however, she is not there for her looks. She8217;s there because she should know something about the art of conversation. That is not the case: her questions are simplistic, repititive. And her expression is so languid, you8217;d think she8217;d come to the studios straight from a body massage.

As Indian television grows older, it should get better especially since we have the benefit of seeing how channels in the West do this kind of thing. One look at Hard Talk BBC, for example, should be sufficient to realise that when you talk to someone, you must do your homework. You can accuse this show of being unnecessarily provocative with its guests, of setting them up in such a manner that they provide rivetting replies. In fact, at one level, you can see Hard Talk as an act of great showmanship.

The cool, laconic interviewer, who has memorised his or her guests8217; curriculum vitae like children memorise their tables, constantly asks leading questions. As if on queue, the guest will nod and launch into the most startling revelations. And the camera moves quickly from one to another in sharp close-ups that are, often, more revealing than the words. Last week, for instance, the camera would cosy up to writer Edmund White8217;s neck and sort of nuzzle it a bit. You could see his skin stain pink as he spoke of first being homosexually attracted to a man at the age of 5 the politically correct term on BBC is gay8217;.

Then there was F.W. De Klerk, former South African President. He was shown in a orange glow, his face in a shadows, so that you never saw his eyes. Every so now and again, the back of his head would be juxtaposed with the interviewer8217;s face, which was aglow in bright light. It was dramatic, stage-managed, perfectly. That is the difference between our television and theirs.

Now take a look at Kabhi Idhar Kabhi Udhar Home TV, the latest vehicle for Shekhar Suman. Since Dekh Bhai Dekh now repeating on Sony Suman has displayed a natural talent for the comic. He normally doesn8217;t overact, over react, even when he is landed with two wives which happens to him more frequently than to any other actor in Amar Prem, he also has two.

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Unfortunately, the action in the serial moves faster than the speed of sound: as a result we can8217;t hear the jokes. Madhu, Priya the wives, one sister-in-law, two policemen or is it one masquerading as two?, two thugs whose clarity of speech beats Gowda8217;s, one friend, one fat boss with one spoilt daughter and one twitching sidekick and many, many neighbours whir past faster than the blades of a fan at full speed. And consequently, your eyes rotate like a revolving door, making you very dizzy.

In a comedy, timing is all and while you do need to be quick-witted, you need to deliver the lines slowly enough for the audience to grasp the joke. Indian humour tends towards loud slapstick. On the big screen it might work; on the small, it8217;s like a slap in the face. Yes Minister STAR Plus works because it has finesse. It pauses, waits for you to laugh.

If we are going to imitate their8217; shows and be culturally colonised, at least, let8217;s fake it well.