The Cup that overfloweth

Hey, ye cricket couchers: while watching the World Cup, don8217;t raise that finger sorry, hand, exchange bats sorry blows, rub those b...

Hey, ye cricket couchers: while watching the World Cup, don8217;t raise that finger sorry, hand, exchange bats sorry blows, rub those balls sorry eyes, ball those fists, smash your TV set, cut your cable connection, run out of the house or drive others away8230; if the Indian team floors its chances on the seaming pitches of South Africa.

Above all, don8217;t clutch your chest, screaming, 8216;8216;All Out!8217;8217;. A helpful soul might switch on the mosquito repellent and leave you to your heart attack.

It8217;s only a game, not Saddam Hussein.

Besides, help is near. According to Aaj Tak ka Panditji, the gods are taking a keen interest in India8217;s Cup fortunes and 8216;fixing8217; things accordingly. Therefore, Virendra Sehwag8217;s 8216;8216;kundali8217;8217; is A1 teem-taam and Saurav Ganguly 8216;8216;ka apna takat hai8217;8217; like he8217;s a tonic or sumo wrestler?. Under the influence of their celestial pairing, the rest of the team will run into form8230;

So tell me, Aaj Tak ka Panditji, will India win the World Cup on the sheer strength of our cricketing star power?

Panditji rubbed his8230; brains. 8216;8216;We will make it,8217;8217; he scratched about, 8216;8216;to the Super Six8217;8217; stage. And there8217;s Kapil saying, Dil Se, that India is the 8216;8216;most unpredictable team8217;8217; in the tourney Max Hrrrrmmph.

But hey, hallo, wait on: what if we rename the game Kkricket like Kkusum? Will K2 numerology achieve what cricketing talent, the prayers, songs, advertisements of a nation 8211; and Sehwag8217;s kundali 8211; cannot? Why not give it a shot? Poor pun.

Ganguly said he felt the absence of an all-rounder Kapil Dil Se. He should have touched Tellytown. Here, actors plays multiple roles, sometimes at the same time. So, the man who loves Pammi Des Mein Nikkla Hoga Chand, Star Plus is the one who loves Dr.Simran Astitva, Zee at 9 p.m. on Mondays. And all that separates Mr.Bajaj of Kasauti Zindagi Kay from Mihir of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thhi, is a two-hour time difference. That and hair: as Mr.Bajaj, actor Ronit Roy uses shaving cream in his hair; as Mihir, a brown dye.

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Kasauti8217;s8230; Prerna is understandably confused. Mr.Bajaj, she scolds, the reason you want to take me away to Australia is to prevent my meeting Onurag and the Basus. Wrong, stoopid: it8217;s because as Mihir he8217;s there to meet Tulsi!

Onto Femina Miss India Sony. The show crawled from Friday into Saturday ever so slowly, we fell asleep before the crowning moment. Still, noticed several new features. On the girls. Each had a number attached to her hip like a price tag. None appeared in her birthday suit hidden by swimwear. Instead, of dressing downs sorry, evening gowns, each wore a ghaghra or lehenga with work-out bras 8211; like they8217;d just appeared in a rap version of Arabian Nights. And they all wore the same smile as though the organisers had xeroxed 26 copies and pasted them on to each one8217;s lips for the duration of the show. They stood so perfectly still that had you crept up and shouted, 8216;8216;Statue!8217;8217; they would not have shaken, stirred or moved. Marvellous composure.

Lastly, came the moment to speak. Even here, it was the sameness which was more remarkable than the differences. In the quick takes of TV it is very difficult to tell a Shweta from a Shonali when they8217;re made to look and sound alike. Whereas each said something different, the delivery and the sentiment were similar.

Also, you sensed that each one had memorised, rehearsed set answers and instantly adapted them to the judge8217;s questions. Asked about destiny, Nupur declaimed: 8216;8216;Our destiny was in our own hands8217;8217;; asked about the difference between religion and morality, Parmita declared religion is man created 8216;8216;and I don8217;t believe in it8217;8217;. Purabhi said that if she was reborn, she would like to be Arundhati Roy because she won the Booker, etcetra. The same answer would have held for 8216;8216;the person you admire most8217;8217;. And when Yash Chopra asked his contestant, 8216;8216;What was your most moving experience?8217;8217;, she replied, piously, 8216;8216;When a child came up to me and said, 8216;Be Yourself8217;8217;8217;.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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