The booby trap

How do you address a woman8217;s greatest assets? A brief guide to what divides one woman from another

The last time I wrote about this, I got grief. What I said was that men watch the Academy Awards for only two reasons 8212; cleavage. Times have changed. Cleavage has gone mainstream. Public cleavage once was reserved for specific social occasions like fancy cocktail parties where the highlight is stabbing little wieners with toothpicks. Now, there is no such thing as a cleavage-free zone, no escaping the great divide.

Cleavage also has become controversial. Hillary Clinton recently created a bit of a stir when she showed up on the Senate floor in pants, a pink jacket, black blouse and cleavage. This prompted a fashion writer from The Washington Post to criticise the quality of Clinton8217;s cleavage, writing: 8220;It was more like catching a man with his fly unzipped. Just look away!8221; Obviously, the Post fashion writer was a woman. To the male, there is no such thing as 8220;look away8221; cleavage.

Which is not to suggest that all cleavage is created equal. You have your common cleavage, your above-average cleavage, your overachieving cleavage and your Star Trek cleavage, which has the power to take men where no man has gone before. Then you have your long cleavage, your stubby cleavage, your wide-body cleavage, your shallow cleavage, your shy cleavage, your full-disclosure cleavage, your full-contact cleavage, your pumped-up cleavage and your reined-in cleavage yearning to breathe free.

Age-wise, there8217;s your late-model cleavage, middle-age cleavage, senior cleavage and vintage cleavage. All of which is suitable for viewing, with one exception, male cleavage. Male cleavage is always 8220;look away8221; cleavage, unless you happen to find Jell-O with hair on it appealing.

With cleavage so up-front, it might be a good idea at this point to review some basic cleavage etiquette:
Is it proper to compliment someone on their cleavage? Certainly, but keep it simple: 8220;I love your cleavage.8221;
Should you thank someone for providing cleavage? Again, less the better: 8220;Thank you for the cleavage; I really appreciate it.8221;
Is it OK to stare at cleavage? A good rule of thumb is that it is acceptable to behold until you blink, at which point politeness dictates you make eye contact with the presenter.
Jim Shea LAT-WP