The Actor8217;s Nightmare

If anyone tells you that actors have strange, torturous minds -- they're right. A feverous excitement sets in weeks before the inception o...

If anyone tells you that actors have strange, torturous minds 8212; they8217;re right. A feverous excitement sets in weeks before the inception of a new show or film prospect, which only intensifies as the deadlines draws nearer, causing the unconscious mind, during sleeping hours, to perform irrational mental gymnastics.

Kartik Chintamani the long-haired Jesus8217; in Rahul da Cunha8217;s current production of Jesus Christ Superstar: I keep dreaming that I cut off my hair in a fit of rage, go to the show, and then Rahul, looking at me, fires me on the spot. In desperation I try on a wig, but it just doesn8217;t work. I call this dream my Samson Complex8217;.

Anahita Uberoi Theatre Actress / Director: I arrive at the theatre and realise that I haven8217;t had the time to learn my lines. Often I8217;m in the wrong play.

Zafar Karachiwala Theatre / TV Actor: I have two reccuring nightmares. The first is that I am onstage, the play starts normally, I know my lines perfectly and then suddenly everyoneelse on stage starts talking about their own lives, props appear unexpectedly, the audience starts clapping or booing uncontrollably, and the play falls to pieces.

The second I get before a TV shoot, when I realise that I have completely forgotten how to speak Hindi!

Bugs Bhargava Theatre Actor / Singer: My stage entry is approaching, and I suddenly find that I have forgotten to get into costume or make-up. I start to panic.

Shernaz Patel Theatre / TV Actress: I am onstage and unexpectedly find myself deviating from my lines to speak out whatever my personal thoughts of the moment are, commenting on the actors with me, and even on members of the audience. I wake up totally humiliated.

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Rajit Kapur Theatre / TV / Film Actor: I always dream that I am about to fall off the stage.

I, personally, have a much-worn nightmare of being stuck in a traffic jam, minutes before the curtain is supposed to go up, with no way of alerting anyone that I am going to be late. Imagine my horrorwhen, one day in New York, on my way to an off-Broadway production of Private Lives, I found myself literally re-living my worst nightmare. I was stuck in road construction, and had 15 minutes to get to the theatre before curtain-up. When the jam cleared, I hit the accelerator and started speeding towards my destination, and within seconds heard the monotonous drone of a police siren behind my car. I pulled over, hands shaking, and as the cop appeared at my window showed him my theatre playbill which thankfully had my photo on it, explained that I was trying to make a show, and begged him to just let me go for now, and impose whatever fine he wanted later.

With a broad grin he said, quot;That8217;s a new one for me! Come on, follow me.quot; He moved over in front of my car, and personally gave me a siren-ridden escort all the way to the theatre. Thanks to him, I made the show with minutes to spare, and my heart eventually stopped pounding8230; about three days later. Sometimes guardian angels appear out of nowhere 8230;

Sohrab Ardeshir is a theatre actor.