To reword a well-known phrase: those who live by the tube, die by it. And how. Last week, Uma Bharati chose to take a stand, in public, on TV, that too during a live broadcast of her party’s high command meeting. If it cut a sorry figure, the BJP has only itself to blame for courting publicity. On this occasion, those who had bloomed in the glare of TV lights, suddenly and visibly wilted before our astonished gazes: the entire top leadership, sat in silence, heads bent as the lady in saffron, scolded them. It was a memorable TV moment but one we’re sure, the BJP would rather forget.Old habits die hard: if the Sangh Parivar is unable to stop flaunting its differences on air, CNN found itself embedded in Iraq, once again, as American troops advanced into Falluja. You’d think CNN might have resisted the temptation of accompanying the American forces, displayed more independence now that Iraq is, ostensibly, a free country. Instead, we were back in the spring of 2003 with CNN correspondent Jane Arrat smiling up at Lt Col Newell, girlishly: give us an idea of what is happening she asked — a pretty dumb question, given that she’s been travelling with him and must have formed ‘‘an idea’’ of what was ‘‘happening’’. He issued a very responsible statement on his troops’ good intentions. Sounded rather like Father Christmas.Switch to Al Jazeera, or its half-an-hour prime time bulletin carried by TV India. The camera angle tilts and you see the Arab side of the picture: a hospital overrun by troops, injured civilians, public appeals in Japan for the repatriation of its soldiers in Iraq — every bit as partisan as CNN. Should you watch the news on the French TV5, it would, no doubt, present an entirely Gallic twist to the events. What about a South African or Chinese take, next?If you were Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie what would you do on a farm? Pig it out? No, you’d wear a bikini, dark glasses and skinny-dip on the lawn just to remind yourself that you are Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, not cow hands. Who are these women, anyway? The first sounds like a hotel on the Champs Elysee so of course she has to belong to the Hilton hotel family; the second is musician Lionel Richie’s daughter. And because they’ve haven’t an hour’s work between them, they charge off to heartland America to see what The Simple Life does to their make-up if they did some (Star World).They’re as out of place as you’d expect them to be. That’s the whole point: this reality show is all about our vicarious enjoyment of their increasing discomfiture. When Nicole groans, ‘‘I am so tired’’ milking cows, you laugh, when Paris cries, ‘‘I have done more work in one day than in my entire life,’’ you clap your hands, and when Nicole feels, ‘‘they’re treating us like animals’’ while cleaning out the barns, you hoop with glee: serve them right for being ladies of leisure.Obviously, they’re being paid a packet to slum it, yet this in no way diminishes the fun of hearing them bitch, watching them play pranks (diluting the milk with water — ‘‘it will be less fattening’’) or behave like spoilt, rich brats (‘‘it stinks here’’, ‘‘I hate this’’, ‘‘it was terrible’’.).There’s no greater pleasure in life than to watch other people be human and to err — real flesh and blood people, not Friends like Monica or Joey; to see the contestants of The Apprentice stab each in the chest in order to cut each other out. It appeals to our baser instincts. Which is why Indian TV sees more reality shows: Sony’s Indian Idol, Zee’s Bollywood Dreams, MTV’s Roadies.Lastly, some fine performances, muscular arms to carry a camera, high energy levels and a hotel setting allowed CID to pull off its ambitious 111-minute-one-single-take episode (Sony). Though why they wanted to produce it — other than to prove they could — is baffling since the usual 25-minute episode is normally entertaining enough.
