Telly Dolly

EVERYTHING was in place, I thought, as I patted down my smart grey skirt and crisp white shirt, but the script. After all, what8217;s five ...

EVERYTHING was in place, I thought, as I patted down my smart grey skirt and crisp white shirt, but the script. After all, what8217;s five minutes of newsreading for a veteran journalist like me?

So I am chauffeured into Sahara Samay Rashtriya8217;s Noida office on the outskirts of Delhi and meet Arup Ghosh, chief of the National Channel. Get set for the audition, I8217;m told, but before that, the brushmen take over. For the next half hour, I8217;m primped till I begin fancying myself as a model rather than a newscaster.

Just as I begin to think I couldn8217;t possibly become more perfect, I8217;m brought down to earth. 8216;8216;You should know Astha, the camera has its own set of rules. Clothes have to be monochrome, and white is completely taboo.8217;8217; My brand new top is camouflaged under a stand-by shirt so I8217;m obviously not the first to goof up! and I8217;m pushed under the lights.

Confession time. Stage fright is not something I8217;m familiar with, but the bright lights, the rolling cameras were all quite unnerving. My too-bright put-on smile wavered as I stepped into the recording room and was ushered into the anchor8217;s chair. Why on earth is it so high? Before I can form the question, I8217;m handed a lapel mike and an earphone.

Even as I take in the huge letters on the teleprompter8212;my one worry, since I8217;d recently had eye surgery and wasn8217;t so sure if I would be able to read from a distance8212;someone asks me my name. I take a deep breath and plunge into my best-rehearsed introduction. A voice breaks in, 8216;8216;Madam, this is a Hindi channel.8217;8217;

Ooops! I quickly gather the remnants of my pride, take another deep breath and start. 8216;8216;Namaskar, main Astha Gupta, Sahara Samay Rashtriya mein aapka swagat hai.8217;8217; Invisible man strikes again: 8216;8216;Kya aap yudh par ja rahi hain?8217;8217; Toucheacute;.

		COLOUR AND CONTRAST

			8226; Clean looks: Govinda-clones not welcome. That means no checks, stripes, obvious accessories or anything- even hair gel- that 8216;s distracting. 8226; Clarity: Tulsi screeches don8217;t work. All they8217;re looking for is a clear voice and good diction. Story continues below this ad 8226; Clued in: The anchor has to know what s/he8217;s saying, or if faced with Rocket Science chapter LV, be clever to cover up. Ditzy types, please excuse. 8226; Classic style: The Sardesai slot is already taken. Just be yourself- otherwise it shows.

After a few practice sessions in chaste Hindi and Urdu8212;television language is quite different from the khichri we speak8212;we8217;re ready to roll. And it8217;s just at this moment that the teleprompter the man, not the machine chooses to act up, either going too fast or too slow. I seriously begin to believe that, like the Invisible Man, he doesn8217;t like me either.

Five minutes, and it8217;s a wrap. So where8217;s the glamour? Or the pat on the shoulder? Or even Mr Ghosh? Okay, I8217;d settle for a cup of coffee, but that8217;s not around either8230;

I duck into the make-up room and emerge from behind the pancake, washed out but more like myself. Ghosh picks that moment to turn up again and gives me the grand tour. 8216;8216;Well, when the reporter comes back, the desk cleans up the story. The reporter provides the voiceover, then the story goes to the editor, who assembles the spoken words and the visuals. The graphics department is separate, but the whole system is integrated.8217;8217;

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Though the tour ends on a positive note, the encounter with the teleprompter still hurts. So, just to get my own back, here8217;s a secret that8217;s never been told outside a television studio: All the fiddling with the computer keyboard is make-believe, a strategy to up the busyness of the anchor. So there!