Sidhu Strikes Out?

SHOULD the services of Navjot Singh Sidhu be retained until next year8217;s cricket World Cup? Is the smart, suave, irrepressible and incre...

SHOULD the services of Navjot Singh Sidhu be retained until next year8217;s cricket World Cup? Is the smart, suave, irrepressible and increasingly incomprehensible Saucy Sikh an asset in the commentary box or a handicap to our appreciation of the game? Are his ungrammatical, non-sequitur assaults on the Queen8217;s English, the verbal equivalent of Ganguly8217;s barrel-chested, shirt-flying at Lord8217;s? And, is this aggressive 8216;in-your-face8217; and 8216;up-your-nostril8217; patriotism a blessed departure from the milky, meek and mealy-mouthed Indian submissiveness of the past? Or is it downright rude and obnoxious?

During the recently concluded one-day tri-series ESPN, Geoff Boycott was close to bursting a blood vessel, loosing his cool, his shirt and a good night8217;s sleep after sharing the microphone with Sidhu. Their mutual acrimony might just be a game invented by Star Sports/ESPN for our entertainment. However, Boycott enjoyed it about as much as he used to being dismissed. Perhaps, in the sardar he has met his match. Before Sidhu revealed his extraordinary repertoire of tongue-twisters, Sir Geoffrey was every Indian8217;s pin-up TV cricket commentator. His brutal frankness and amusing pronouncements were far more engaging than his batting and he showered genuine, fulsome praise on the Prince of Kolkata and Sachin Tendulkar. Other foreign commentators appreciated Indian cricketing skills but none with quite his enthusiasm. And we loved him for it.

Along comes supersonic Sidhu showering superlatives on the Indian players like the cumulative rain of the last 12 years8217; monsoons and Boycott is sidelined, often speechless with annoyance and perplexity at the temerity of the Indian mouth machine.

The Empire struck back with Sidhu a modern day Bhagat Singh. Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri have grown quite sharp and acerbic in their comments when they feel the Indian team is being slighted, but they have remained polite, gentlemanly. Sidhu flouts convention, mocks the 8216;propah8217; and perpetrates symbolic acts of violence on the English language!

He is equally emotional and verbose when India win or lose. That8217;s the problem. While Sidhu talks cricket in cricketing terms, he8217;s a good commentator. However, he spends most of his air time talking gibberish. His malapropisms, his strange similes were entertaining in their novelty, but now they tend to overwhelm his cricketing judgement. There are times when he defies understanding. Harsha Bhogle may laugh at his sallies, encourage his follies and verbal volleys but if he continues in this hysterical vein, he will be dismissed as a joke and a bore 8212; a terrible pity because he has contributed so much to our delight in the game.

Alternatives: Looking for genuine infotainment? Switch to Discovery or National Geographic. At prime time. You don8217;t have to be a nature addict to enjoy National Geographic8217;s deep sea explorations. The aquamarine setting and its prism of colours is so soothing after a hard day, you can gaze upon it forever. A programme on sharks, becomes a visual feast with the spotted shark, the swordfish shark more beauteous than any of the bahus of our serials.

National Geographic also makes organic links between nature and human beings: last Wednesday, the origins of Kung-fu fighting were related to the movement of reptiles such as snakes, and predators like the leopard. Another programme, The Secret Life of the Crash Test Dummy explained so much about the car industry8217;s approach to accidents, including experiments with dead pigs.

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On Thursday, we entered the White House with former Presidents, their fairly recent footage made the series a revelation: aha, you say to yourself, so this is where they relieve themselves.

From Washington to Kerala is a long journey but on television, we made it within seconds to witness the Day of the Elephant. He was an utterly lovable pachyderm used in ceremonies which help bring the rains someone please transport him North. You learnt how elephants hate walking on asphalt, need 320 pound of food per day palm leaves and even eye drops.

Discovery is equally but differently enjoyable. It has the best thrillers with real mysteries: New Detectives, Crime Night, Science Mysteries, CIA Secrets. The reconstructions of crimes, events are simply executed but lose none of their suspense. Watch the police catch a man who killed a young girl, by two strands of his hair. See a woman carried away by aliens8230;

On Healthy Living, Bill and Sally set out to kill time, literally, with professionals like Dr.Doris Day who believes 8216;8216;in turning back the clock8217;8217;. The show explored the variety of methods available in America to remain 8216;youthful8217; 8212; everything from 8216;8216;hair systems8217;8217; for bald men, to cellulite massages for middle-aged female thighs, Botox injections, modern corsets for men!, etc. It was done in such a light, self deprecating manner, you had to laugh.

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The Human Body is total television. Last week, we understood babies and their reflexive actions. The show explained how and why babies crawl, navigate, using skeletal computer images. Then the babies were shown underwater swimming, spontaneously. Brilliantly shot and produced.

This is just the tiniest sample of what television offers if we are willing to watch and see.

A correction: last week, we said Choti Ma8230; had been taken off the air. As per Zee8217;s listings it was replaced by Love Marriage. However, we are delighted to find it survived. At least last week.