Of all the roles a woman has to play, it is motherhood that dominates her existence and sets challenging standards for her. The ideal mother is expected to have a range of qualities and constantly live them to the hilt — be the most caring, the most generous, the most forgiving, the kindest, the strongest and so on. Most women strive very hard to fit the mould of the ideal mother. In the case of my 70-year-old mother, she still fits it to perfection. It is as if the mould was made to her size! Talking of size, though, my mother can never fit into any mould, let alone clothes, shoes etc. Physically, she is exceptionally small (weighs a mere 27 kg!), but otherwise is immense. Well, that’s just what the cult of motherhood does — it turns small women into big mothers. Despite her frail and failing health, my mother continues to serve others at any cost. Even today, she eats last, no matter what. She cooks and washes her own clothes, while totally refusing help from her children. Through my growing years, when she was more energetic, rest made her restless. Through sickness, surgery, exhaustion or emotional upheavals, she worked without a break, patiently smiling at our annoying tantrums, cleaning the mess we children created. Often, we came to know of her illness after she had recovered. Her total commitment towards household chores and cleanliness, and high intake of sugar everyday kept her on her feet. Even today, she is the first to wake up and the last one to go to bed.Despite a life spent within the confines of the house, Amma, like all good mothers neither complained nor sought any comforts. In fact, her only indulgence in life, sweets have also been snatched away by diabetes. Low in sugar and in energy, she still feels the constant need to be of some help to her children, while refusing any assistance herself. My mother, like many women, is an incorrigible mother. Like many mothers, she has devoted her life to home and hearth. As a woman, a daughter and a would-be mother, I have tremendous respect for all full-time mothers. However, I wish these amazing women knew that motherhood is a highly idealised cultural script, and it is okay to lower the bar, come out of the character and breathe easy.
