Diwali baksheesh

During Diwali, I have discovered, it is wise to make necessary pay-outs to avoid sudden disruption of services.

During Diwali, I have discovered, it is wise to make necessary pay-outs to avoid sudden disruption of services. Over the years, my wife has evolved a formula which continues to be improved upon with every passing year. She begins with a firm budget. A list is prepared of service-providers in descending order of importance. It is then divided into two sections: those who need to be motivated and those who need recognition.

The list gets further divided into three parts. The persons in the first list are the maid, watchman and liftman. If anyone of them is disappointed, it results in immediate fall-out action. The maid will come late, much after my wife has completed half the housework. The watchman will permit hawkers to knock at our door in the afternoons and spoil our siesta. And the liftman will declare that the lift is under repair and ensure that we climb six floors. They, therefore, get top priority.

In the second list figure the milkman, the washerwoman and the sweeper. Since the milkman and washerwoman are paid on a daily basis, they recognise that we may have some cash-flow problems. They seem satisfied with smaller amounts. The sweeper, however, needs to be handled with care. He has the power to skip a few days8217; garbage collection and cause serious nasal disorder.

The third list consists of the telephone, post and telegraph community. This list does not evoke too much concern. The importance of the telephone man has taken a huge dip. A faulty line does not bother people any more in these days of the mobile phone. The post and telegraph group too does not attract too much money. The e-mail has made letter-writing redundant.

I have always remained a keen observer of these Diwali pay-outs and am fascinated by the methods employed by the beneficiaries to gain more handsome pay-outs. Each one carries a list of neighbourhood donors. We know our neighbours well enough to realise that the figures are grossly exaggerated. This is an old technique called peer pressure.

I am also intrigued by the fact that the beneficiaries never come in a bunch. They stagger their time of arrival through careful networking, without doubt. All said, the Diwali baksheesh 8212; both the handing and receiving of it 8212; is an interesting exercise in human management.