Barking up the wrong trees

My VHP friend continued, ‘‘You Hindus are the ones making the most noise about us. In fact, Muslims in India have kept quiet after Gujarat. Since we have written you off, we have decided to make sure at least Hindu dogs remain Hindus. One thing is for sure—at least they are loyal. Not like you Hindus supported by Musharraf.’’

‘‘How,’’ I asked, ‘‘have Hindus been responsible for their own mess?’’

‘‘Look at V P Singh. He was a Hindu but he divided us. And thanks to him we have become a minority in our own country.’’ This was entirely new. I said, ‘‘Tell me more.’’

‘‘By introducing reservations for lower caste, he divided the Hindus into lower caste and upper caste.’’ ‘‘You mean, he introduced the caste system,’’ I asked.

‘‘The caste system existed but by introducing reservations in the caste system, he made sure Hindus were isolated.’’ I countered, ‘‘You mean the upper caste.’’

‘‘Yes, we are the real Hindus and, thanks to the misguided Hindus, are in a real minority,’’ argued my VHP friend. ‘‘I realised that it was the non-Hindus who were getting all the reservations in Tamil Nadu. There were backwards who were getting top jobs, untouchability had been sought to be abolished, the so-called atrocities against Dalits were being publicised… What is the world coming to?’’

‘‘You mean your real fight is for us and we don’t realise it,’’ I said. He replied, ‘‘Even the NDA Government is pushing for reforms instead of swadeshi, succumbing to Bush and appeasing every pseudo-secularist.’’

The VHP man had his own definition of Musharraf’s Muslim: ‘‘Anyone opposed to the VHP is Musharraf’s Muslim. It is Vaghela in Gujarat, Mulayam Singh in UP and Sonia Gandhi in the rest of the country.’’

At that precise moment, a pack of dogs, all Yorkshire terriers, attacked my friend’s pet but despite the snarling, the VHP desi dog was not getting provoked. ‘‘See how tolerant he is compared to dogs belonging to other faiths,’’ said my friend proudly.

Trying to change the subject, I asked, ‘‘Hasn’t the BJP and the Prime Minister in particular attacked the VHP for its provocative statements? ‘‘We are aware of the pressures on the PM, these are the compulsions of power. Once he’s out of power he will see reason. We are convinced he is a good Hindu at heart, but we will not be underdogs and sacrifices have to be made for a larger cause,’’ argued the VHP leader.

At that precise moment, my friend’s dog, who had been docile all along, struggled out of its leash and raced towards its own larger cause—a starving desi stray who looked Indian in every way.

Write to rajusanthanam@expressindia.com