Aadar Jain’s engagement speech goes viral, says, ‘I have done time-pass for 20 years of my life’; expert on why people stay in such relationships

He added, “I love you, and it was worth the wait. It’s a secret, I have always loved her. I have done time-pass for 20 years of my life. But now I’m with you, baby.”

What’s interesting is that Aadar was dating actor Tara Sutaria before getting into a relationship with Alekha. The two dated for several years and made public appearances before parting ways in 2023. 

While some find the idea of waiting for ‘the one’ romantic, others question the concept of relationships being labelled as ‘time pass.’ 

 

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Why do people sometimes stay in relationships that aren’t meant to be long-term?

Psychologist Anjali Gursahaney tells indianexpress.com, “The term ‘time pass’ in relationships refers to being in a relationship without serious intentions of long-term commitment. People might enter such relationships for various reasons. Fear of loneliness often drives individuals into temporary relationships for companionship and emotional support. Some seek relationships as a distraction from personal issues or past heartbreaks, using them as a coping mechanism.”

For younger individuals, Gursahaney adds that casual dating may be a way to explore their preferences and understand what they want in a partner. Societal pressure can also play a role, pushing people to be in a relationship just to conform to expectations. “Additionally, the fear of change may keep someone in a comfortable but directionless relationship, as leaving it can feel daunting. While “time pass” relationships may seem harmless, they can lead to confusion and emotional entanglement, especially if one partner develops deeper feelings.”

How does waiting for someone for years impact a person’s emotional well-being and future relationships?

Waiting for someone over an extended period can bring both positive and negative emotional consequences. On the positive side, Gursahaney informs, the anticipation of an eventual union can provide hope and motivation, encouraging patience and resilience. She says, “Some individuals use this waiting period as an opportunity for personal growth, focusing on self-improvement, career aspirations, or emotional healing.”

However, prolonged waiting can also lead to emotional exhaustion, frustration, and disappointment, especially if there is no certainty of reciprocation. It may cause individuals to miss out on other meaningful connections by fixating on one person. “If the feelings are not mutual, the prolonged wait can negatively impact self-worth, causing feelings of rejection and unworthiness. Striking a balance between hope and reality is crucial to prevent long-term emotional distress,” notes Gursahaney.