Forwarded as received: Who Moved My Seat?

Finally, ‘merit’ has found a friend in aarakshan. But why then is WhatsApp Uncle unhappy?

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Whatsapp messages: Forwarded as received. (Source: Getty Images)

Bachchon… all life must be lived by precept of Holi book Shrimad Bhagvad Gita…. karm karo… do not have asha for phal… I know what u r thinking … u all want to say arre daadu/papa why u say lyk this?!!!! U have all… best reading, knowledge of politics and itihaas and sahitya and dharma and darshanshastra… And beta Angad toh will remember me from my service days… all wud say to him u r Joshiji’s son?!!! WHat lucky u r! he is true pandit ji…. Yes bachchon… u r right! By GRACE of Shri Ram i hav opportunity to work hard…

As u know my family, i am never a complaining person…. But today, i have a new feeling…Something only my potee cud hv explained all.. YES! I hv FOMO…Angad, bahu… this means fear of missing out!!!

I will tell u all secret… i also gave UPSC exam in my youth… i also wanted to be IFS… speak in fancy english and make bharat mata ka naam roshan in all corners of the world…. BUT in interview they said… Oh Mr Joshi… u didnt go to christian college of Delhi or anti national university…. u r toh good at accounts… go to revenue service…

Bachchon….u will not believe… but let me tell u very frankly,,, with that sadma i cud have even become anti national NAXAL!!! But i said no, panditji no… we must follow path of Arjuna laid down by Krishna….And rest is history of IT dep….

But one small thing has always bothered me…. with aarakshan, all others woud have opportunity…. but deserving (but non-creamy layer) lyk me would not be IFS…. I also was all talking merit nonsense for all these years…. especially after dwija-drohi VP singh gave all ppls all kinds of reservation!@!!!!!!

But now?!!! ALL whippersnappers with parents who even make whopping 8 lacs will have aarakshan!!!! Bachchon… middle income is less than 2 lacs in India!!!! I hv been angry at wrong pepppl…… Now we will be able to take away seats of all those english babu in desi chamri who made fun of me… who said u may be ucchh koti badi dhoti pandit… but u r no IFS material…

Thats reason for my FOMO bachchon…. i am toh retired and cannot take laabh of this new aarakshan…. i will miss this BOLD NEW INDIA…. But u also r unlucky…… because i did so well in life, ur papa is a fancy English-wala himself… and u all toh go in maruti car even kutta ghumane…. all soft and useless… I feel sorry for u… some other Joshiji lyk me will come and take away ur seat!!!!

Aakash Joshi

Aakash Joshi is Deputy Associate Editor at The Indian Express. He commissions articles for the opinion section, and is both an analyst and reporter. Editorial Role & Scope In his capacity as a commissioning editor, Aakash oversees and shapes the discourse within the Indian Express opinion pages. His own writing is characterized by: Political Analysis: Critical examination of domestic political parties (like Congress, AAP, and the BJP) and the shifting ideologies in Indian democracy. Global Affairs: Extensive commentary on the US presidency (particularly the Trump era), India's relations with its neighbours (like the Taliban-led Afghanistan and Bangladesh), and the changing world order. Cultural Critique: Analysis of masculinity in Bollywood (SRK @ 60), the cultural impact of Western icons like Hulk Hogan in India, and the social dynamics of Indian festivals. Notable Perspectives & Articles Aakash’s work often challenges mainstream narratives: Masculinity: "SRK@60: In the age of Andrew Tate, the early Shah Rukh Khan still offers a kinder, wiser masculinity" – contrasting traditional stardom with modern toxic influences. Justice & Human Rights: "No one killed Akhlaq? 10 years after a lynching, it's a whole new India" – a critical look at the legal outcomes of high-profile communal cases. Foreign Policy: Analysis of Donald Trump’s isolationism and its impact on America’s alliance with Europe and Israel. Ideology: "Lesson for AAP and Arvind Kejriwal: You can't be a full-time political party with a freelance ideology" – an assessment of the AAP's political identity. Professional Presence Communication: He can be reached at aakash.joshi@expressindia.com. Social Media: Follow him for editorial insights on X (formerly Twitter) at @Joshi_Uncle. LinkedIn: Aakash Joshi (active professional profile). His full archive is available on the Indian Express Columnist Profile. He can be reached at aakash.joshi@expressindia.com. Twitter: @Joshi_Uncle ... Read More