From taking care of everyone’s emotions to smiling always: Twitter user shares struggles of eldest daughter in a family

“As the eldest daughter I feel like it is my responsibility to take care of everyone and everything. From making everyone at home eat their meals, making tea and snacks for guests, handling every crisis with a calm mind, taking care of everyone’s emotions, understanding everyone,” she tweeted.

As the eldest daughter I feel like it is my responsibility to take care of everyone and everything. From making everyone at home eat their meals, making tea and snacks for guests, handling every crisis with a calm mind, taking care of everyone’s emotions, understanding everyone,

— Deity (@gharkakabutar) April 18, 2023

According to her, the eldest daughter needs to balance everything at home and the office such as understanding everyone’s likes and dislikes, and being good at academics. She needs to guide her siblings in the right direction. The role comes with the perils of disregarding one’s health to take care of others, smiling every time despite being worried, tensed, or sad.

Smiling all the time even though you are worried or tensed or sad, disregarding your health to take care of others, always saying yes to everything, making sure you don’t even accidentally hurt anyone, apologise even if it’s not your fault, blame yourself for everything,

— Deity (@gharkakabutar) April 18, 2023

“And so much more!! I have to be the happiest person at home so that I can make everyone around me happy! I have to make sure everything is perfect! And if something goes wrong, it feels like it is all because of me. It’s the worst,” she added. Deity further said that regardless of whoever fights in the house, as the eldest daughter she needs to stay strong and solve the problem amicably.

And so much more!! I have to be the happiest person at home so that I can make everyone around me happy! I have to make sure everything is perfect! And if something goes wrong, it feels like it is all because of me. It’s the worst.

— Deity (@gharkakabutar) April 18, 2023

Several eldest daughters online agreed with Deity’s thoughts. A social media user commented, “and being this shield for protecting younger siblings so they don’t go through the same shit u did (just for them to say ‘aapne kuch nahi Kiya hai’).” Another user wrote, “My whole life in a Twitter thread.” A third user wrote, “I was that girl for years. But i think there was a point when everyone was taking advantage/hurting me so much that i had to let that go. When you realise how much everyone has traumatised you. Retired that role and took on a new one; doing things and being with people that.”