It is the time of the year when managers and employees remain braced for performance reviews, where achievements, downfalls and overall performance get scrutinised. A video poking fun at the process, posted by digital content creator Aiyoo Shraddha, has struck a chord with netizens. Posing as a manager, she says, “They are getting their promotion and increment letter on Tuesday. That’s why the company off-site is the previous Saturday, Sunday and Monday. It is a very strategic off-site.” Asked about how she is feeling about the appraisal, reflecting a manager’s woes, she replies, “I am a manager. Managers are only allowed to do two things. One, is grateful for their team’s performance. Two, guilty of their team’s performance ratings. I have asked my team to work from home starting Tuesday for one month. Minimum thirty days cool-off period is required. Then nobody will want to see my face.” She also poked fun at the performance rating scale, adding that everyone chooses the “meets expectations” option. “There is no rating system now in the company. They cancelled it last year- no performance rating scale. Because no one knows anything other than Meets Expectations properly. How often is ‘often meets expectations’? How far is ‘far exceeds expectations’ and can you even explain ‘outstanding’ with an example? No, because nobody has ever been there done that. I am actually joking,” she says. “We have a new CEO. The new CEO is very very dynamic. Everything in our company is very dynamic now. We have to be very very agile. Our goals are especially so agile, even before starting towards our goals, our goals have moved all over the place. They are everywhere. The world needs a new GPS tracking system for goals. Goal Positioning System and sometimes we cannot move even though we can see the goals clearly in front of our eyes,” she further says. She uses a pun to talk about weekly meetings and feedback sessions. “We moved to 360-degree feedback. In these feedback sessions, we are running around in circles, beating around the bush. We have to do this feedback and coaching session once every week. So if you give us a golden buzzer and an MC these feedback sessions could be a reality show and employees got talent. Call me a judge,” she says. She also suggests gamifying reviews and gives tips on employee engagement. “Underrated….but know that the company appreciates your efforts.#performancereview#manager,” read the caption of the clip. An Instagram user commented, “Hahahaha I am a performance management processional and this just hit home. Everything you said is from my daily dictionary.” Another user wrote, “The comment on - they don’t know the difference between met expectations & exceeded expectations was bang on !” A third user wrote, “Some of your tips should actually be seriously taken!!”
