All your good resolutions about leaving your adult children to make their own decisions simply disappear when a new baby arrives and you become a grandparent. By Shayama Chona The birth of a newborn is a matter of great celebration. With jubilation and elevation, the grandparents receive the new arrival in the family. How important is it for you to give due recognition to this new position to the grandparents of your child? If you already have a happy relationship with them, you will be aware of some of the benefits grandparents can give, not just to your child but also to you. However, lots of parents feel under pressure from grandparents. Grandparents can feel, to the new parents, like cuckoos edging them out of the nest while cooing over the baby. But if you can find a way to negotiate how your child's grandparents can take part in his or her life, it will be of benefit to everyone involved. For the seniors, too, there's no training in how to be a grandparent. You may dream about what you will do when your grandchild arrives. You may also think that your grandchild's arrival will have little impact on your life. But the reality is usually very different, even for grandparents, who live a long way away or are working. The birth of a new child is a time of heightened emotions for all concerned and you can't predict how you will feel or what changes your grandchild will make to your lifestyle. Becoming a grandparent is often a time of great change. You may feel responsible and hope that you have given your own son or daughter all the skills necessary to cope with this precious new bundle; you may remember how much you resented older people telling you what to do when you felt vulnerable and inexperienced as a new parent. You may have vowed not to do the same thing to your own children as they become parents. How come, you have now forgotten all that? Of course, you have brought children through to adulthood successfully. All your good resolutions about leaving your adult children to make their own decisions simply disappear when a new baby arrives and you become a grandparent. The arrival of the first grandchild marks the beginning of a new generation. There is a sense of magic as the baby represents the family projecting far into the future. The new birth means that family life will never be the same because of all the new possibilities that having a baby in the family brings. Grandparents are free to enjoy and have fun spoiling their grandchildren. The latter can be compared to the joy of receiving the interest on your investments, where your children are the investements and the joy doubles when you get grandchildren in return. The parents discipline and grandparents claim the right to spoil; in fact, actress Goldie Hawn actress gave a new nickname to modern grandmothers, `GlamMa'. Also Read| The Gran View: Grand-parenting, the joys and challenges Just as you learned to be a parent by talking to others and sharing the highs and lows, now you may need to talk to other grandparents. You will be amazed to find how many people share the same worries and delights as you do! Every year, September 9 is marked as International Grandparents Day. Here's an ode to a grandparent, "If you could look into my heart, how quickly you would see the special place you hold there and how much you mean to me." (The writer is a Padma Bhushan and Padma Shri awardee, an educationist, social activist and former Principal, DPS RK Puram.)
