Opinion What’s new,TV?

It’s too much. Too fast. We are still recovering from Akshay Kumar,the host of Masterchef India (Colors) and lo,he’s exchanged the apron for abs — very nice abs but disconcerting nevertheless. He’s gone from savouring delectable dishes to biting into dishy females — that too alive. Ouch! What’s common to the two reality shows is that he is seems so hard on the women. No matter what they do,they can’t seem to please him enough. He scowls,he cries foul,why he may even howl and throw down the towel (okay,no more silly rhymes). Why doesn’t he smile more?

Don’t read this wrong: we love Akshay Kumar. But for all of us who have enjoyed his comic capers in Bollywood bashes,this stern taskmaster is difficult to recognise or appreciate. Even when he smiles,it has a gladiatorial quality to it. Frankly,we are not amused either. We have seen so much of Akshay Kumar recently playing the severe and exacting host that we’re suffering from Akshay fatigue. And what with the heat outside,this is really quite debilitating,especially given the nature of the daredevil stunts we have to watch.

Ah those! Are we the only viewers tired of watching adult men or women diving,jumping,crawling about trying to fulfil impossible tasks — and often failing? Why do this to yourself? That begs another question: why could Colors not allow for a decent interval and bring back the show for a new season by September?

One possible answer is that entertainment channels could wait no longer. With the World Cup and IPL occupying viewers’ space between February and May,they needed to regain the momentum. That means new shows — or new seasons of old shows with bankable stars. That means Akshay Kumar.

Most entertainment channels have launched new series once the World Cup ended. For instance,there’s The X Factor on Sony. This singing talent show has taken a leaf out of Khatron Ke Khiladi. Last seen,judge Shreya Ghoshal and Salim Merchant were seen by the sea and the contestants,overcoming obstacles to reach them,had the well-nigh impossible task of singing,not in the rain,but with the waves and the winds crashing about them for accompaniment. The odd thing is that although they make all the right noises,the sound recording and singing is from elsewhere because strain your ears as you might,you could not hear either the waves or the wind in the background. Now,why would anyone want to stage a singing contest by the sea other than for the pleasure of seeing Shreya Ghosal wearing her version of beach attire!

Another big star moment is Simi Garewal’s return in Simi Selects India’s Most Desirable (Star World),perhaps not the most desirable title for a talk show. Fashion,yes; body-building,splendid; but talk? So far she’s gone through Ranbir Kapoor. Is he India’s “most desirable”? If you say so!

Speaking of new shows,It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) is not precisely new,it’s been on the air for a while but its attitude is completely new. The four main characters work at their bar in the city and it’s harder to find a more unlikeable bunch of friends. They’re selfish,mean,and generally a disgrace to humanity. That’s what makes them desirable.