Opinion That awkward silence…

You can sit through an entire two-hour film with this happening. The substitutes for the missing words are blanks,nanoseconds of silence,incomplete sentences,deleted punchlines and dialogues without meaning. It’s a bit like Two and a Half Men with the better half often missing. None of this bothers the TV channels. They don’t give a **** whether you understand what’s going ** or ***,whether any of it makes sense with so many blanks. They believe they have a moral obligation to protect you from “dirty” words — although dirty pictures are alright. Violence is gung ho too,especially in the films on the English film channels. But **** and **** and **** and **** are a definite no-no. It reminds us of the 1970s Watergate scandal: when transcripts of Presidents Nixon’s Oval Office tapes surfaced,the frequent notation was,“expletive deleted”.

What’s Missing? It’s an American TV series that had its “world premiere” last Sunday (Star World). Good show — oops,those are four-letter words,how about,great going? Not often do we have the world premiere on TV of foreign shows,let alone a highly anticipated drama starring a well-known Hollywood actress,Ashley Judd. So enjoy the privilege but be prepared to swear when words go missing.

It’s ironic that we are censoring English films and shows at a time when Hindi cinema and TV series are bolder,more liberated and probably the better for it. Why,just look at a wholesome family drama like Bade Achche Lagte Hain (Sony). Last week,we were cordially invited to attend the consummation of the marriage of Mr Kapoor and Priya with steamy promos. This week,we had the consummation itself,but that’s okay — it’s a 12-letter word. It was sensual,graphic and not at all dirty — and it went on and on and on — a great advertisement for after-marital sex.

A few weeks ago,we had a similar marital bed moment in Parichay (Colors) while Kya Hua Tera Vaada (Sony) has some pretty heavy petting between Mona dahling and Pradeepji,that too in bed. What the ****?! They are giving a whole new meaning to bedtime stories.

In Sajda Tere Pyaar Mein (Star Plus),romantic entanglements will have to wait — we have more serious issues on hand. Rishi is trying to live up to his promise of keeping off drugs but it’s proving really difficult. We see him suffering withdrawal symptoms — shivering and shaking — unable to stand or sit. You feel he would like to curse,let off steam with a few choice abuses,but he knows he has to mind his ps and qs,so he dissolves into a puddle at his beloved Aaliya’s feet instead.

Meanwhile,Dr Ashutosh has had a complete and extreme makeover,the likes of which have not been seen since Meryl Streep became Margaret Thatcher. That or Mohnish Bahl has left Kuch Toh Log Kahenge (Sony) to another actor. He’s out of the serial — and good-looking as he is,he was too wooden as the older man who falls for a much younger woman. Did you ever see his lips move as he spoke?

Lastly,Holi was over and done with last Thursday but in television serials they are still red in the face as characters play with colours,for example,Mein Lakshmi Tere Aangan Ki (Life OK). Why are they always behind the clock? Who knows and who the **** cares?

shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com