Opinion Mary Roy, my teacher: She taught me that men can be feminists too

Kuriakose Saju writes: She won a landmark victory for the inheritance rights of women. She always spoke up for what she thought was right, and never backed down to societal pressure

Mary Roy passed away on Thursday.

Kuriakose Saju

September 2, 2022 05:52 PM IST First published on: Sep 2, 2022 at 05:01 PM IST

On the morning of September 1, I woke up to find my school alumni group chat flooded with condolence messages. It turned out our founder and principal had passed away. And while there were many messages about how it marked the end of an era, it was not an era defined solely by the perceptions of the members of the alumni. Our principal was the inimitable Mary Roy — educationist, social activist, champion of gender equality rights, and all-around boss lady — and her legacy changed the course of Syrian Christian women in Kerala forever.

Mrs Roy, as we fondly called her, was a feminist and an inspiration. In 1986, she mounted a legal battle at the Supreme Court against her brother, arguing that it was blatantly discriminatory to deny daughters any stake in their parent’s estate post their death, simply because of their gender. At the time, as per the Travancore Succession Act (1916) and the Cochin Succession Act (1921), only male heirs had equal rights over their parents’ property after settling the daughter’s claim of streedhanam (dowry), which could not amount to more than Rs 5,000 for all practical purposes. If dowry had been paid at the time of marriage, then the daughter received nothing. The Supreme Court ruled that these laws did not apply anymore as the princely states of Travancore and Cochin had been absorbed into the Indian Union.

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It was a landmark judgment, one that challenged the deep-rooted patriarchal mindset of the Syrian Christian mindset, retracing inheritance rights for countless women in the years to follow.

Keep in mind, this is 1986, long, long before the mainstream had woken up to the idea of gender parity and women’s liberation in India. She didn’t file the case because she needed the money. After getting divorced, the ultimate no-no in Kerala society then, she ended up in Kottayam where she set up a premier educational institution called Corpus Christi High School, now rechristened Pallikoodam. So why did she decide to fight a legal case that everyone told her she had no chance of winning? To put it simply, it was a matter of principle.

Mary Roy is the mother of Booker Prize-winning author Arundhati Roy.

That’s who Mrs Roy was. As a former student who landed up in her care in the ninth grade, I was blown away by how strong her convictions were, how she always spoke up for what she thought was right, and how she never backed down to societal pressure just because she was a woman. Somewhere through her words and deeds, I internalised the idea that men can be feminists too. Feminism was not about one gender versus another, it was all genders equal each other. How could that be such a bad thing?

Mrs Roy was much more than her legal battles. Mrs Roy was a single mother who taught her kids to be confident and never be afraid to express their opinions. Her daughter, Arundhati, who won the Man Booker Prize for The God of Small Things, continues to speak truth to power with her insightful essays and speeches. Mrs Roy was an educationist par excellence, radical for her times, one who firmly believed a proper education extended far beyond textbooks.

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But more than anything, Mrs Roy was there for us students when we needed her the most. When I told my father about Mrs Roy’s passing, he reminded me of how she personally took care of me when I was in the 10th standard. I had had a complete meltdown, homesick to the point of being physically ill. She opened up her home to me, allowing me to bunk in her guest room for as long as I needed. She would check in on me from time to time, to make sure I was doing okay and would constantly connect with my parents to reassure them of my well-being. For a principal of a school with hundreds of students, to do so much for one insignificant nobody like myself was truly going above and beyond.

In my years at Pallikoodam, there was many a time I would find myself at the end of her ire as well. There were many a time we would get into arguments, my classmates and I fighting the power in our own way. But she never held that against us. We were never asked to shut up or dial down our emotions or feelings. We didn’t always see eye to eye on everything, but that didn’t take away from the fact that even the harshest critic amongst our pubescent selves had nothing but pure respect for her. If it was a matter of principle for her, it was a matter of principal for us students. And she was the best principal we could have wished for. Rest in peace, Mrs. Roy. Keep fighting the good fight wherever you are.

Saju is a writer, film-maker and stand-up comic, who currently serves as Editor-in-Chief at Tinkle Comics