A desperate dash

The last lappers change of role has been sudden. Within hours of the athletes provisional suspension,pending inquiry,in the first week of July 2011,the girls were asked to vacate their National Institute of Sports,Patiala,hostel rooms. In the group of athletes hailing from interior Orissa,Kerala,UP and Karnataka,Mandeep was the only one with local connections. It still remains unsaid but it was obvious even then that she was to be the one to shepherd the clueless herd.

Soon,the Punjab runners Patiala-based prospective in-laws were to get extra beds and adjust more chairs at the dinner table. Home comfort to some extent softened the blinding blow. But they didnt overstay as Mandeep soon found a two-bedroom independent house where the ostracised athletes would communally deal with shame,depression,isolation and,occasionally,hope.

Several miles away,in the heart of Delhis swankiest retail hub,the C-70 South Extension office of lawyer Anand has seen similar outpouring of emotions from the scared group over the past few months. Mandeep says that everyone from the group has broken down several times but with passing time the frequency has gone down. The girls familiarity with the surroundings makes it clear that Anands office isnt merely a place where they come for legal aid,but it has also inadvertently become a space where they spend hours flushing out their apprehensions. Long chats,strategy sessions,confessions,tears,and,even,uproarious laughter have dominated their meetings here.

Their lawyer or his staff havent yet arrived but the girls walk inside the office with the ease of regulars,announcing their arrival with a crisp shout of bhaiya to the office boy. They laze around the comforting couches and instantly reach out for the television remote from its hideout under the table with the effortlessness of an insider. As they scan the news channels,they take potshots at the heartless medias insensitivity.

It happens to be the day after their one-year ban was pulled back to the date they were tested,a technicality that would see them sneak into the London Games in the nick of time. But as Ashwini says,For some time now,bad news has constantly chased good news for us. The newspaper on the side table has Sports Minister Ajay Maken saying that the athletes serving dope-related ban cannot use any government facilities. For the girls,the Olympic dream has come with a rider.

With news channels concentrating on the latest corruption scandal with never-ending zeros,Ashwini switches off the television with a certain cynical disdain and settles to answer questions. As if on cue,the others,so used to these combined media interactions by now,get into a very functional interview formation. The speakersMandeep,Priyanka and Ashwiniare close to the recorders while the noddersSini,Jauna and Tianastay in the background. Ashwini conveys their shared distress with sporadic outbursts in English,Priyanka does the same in high-decibel Hindi. Mandeep,besides chipping in with her measured statements,occasionally raises her hand when the other two speakers talk simultaneously.

The girls say they were done in by the spurious food supplement that their coach got for them. But they quickly add that Yuri Ogorodnik was innocent and like God for them. They speak about the lack of awareness about the modern-day designer drugs among athletes from rural backgrounds. And they laugh at the impracticality of the lame advice they often get: test everything you eat and dont trust anybody.

While these arguments wouldnt quite cut ice in days of WADA and a focused attempt to clean the dope-tainted sport,the narration about the loneliness of these tainted young middle-distance runners needs a compassionate hearing. From the time they were asked to pack their bags and leave NIS,Patiala,they have been on their own. While at the national camp all they needed to do was train,life away from the campus has burdened them with domestic chores and other worldly worries.

We have been in national camps from the time we were in school. Our entire lives have been spent in sports hostels across the country. The mess ensured that we got nutritious food and when on the road,it was room service or restaurants. Honestly,I have rarely gone to shop for vegetables or groceries, says Mandeep.

With no natural cook among them,the kitchen at the athletes Patiala home had the common sight of the girls on phone with their mothers. While Ashwini and Priyanka prepared daal and sabzi,Mandeep,flaunting her muscles,jokes that she doesnt need to go to a gym after making roti mounts. The house-keeping duties were shared by Sini,Jauna and Tiana. As the girls pull each others legs about their culinary skills,Priyanka changes the mood by recalling a few painful days and some sleepless nights.

Suddenly someone would go silent and stop eating. We would brood,we would break down and thats when we played psychiatrists to each other. There would be nights when we would find one of us standing next to the window brooding, she says. But a memory of a winter night at their Patiala home still gives them shivers. Around midnight,a group of boys on their bikes rung their door bell and disappeared. This went on for a few hours. We didnt sleep a wink. We couldnt go out to confront them nor could we could call anybody at that hour, recalls Mandeep.

With the SAI facilities out of bounds for them,training at a neighbourhood walkers park was their only available option. Aging strollers couldnt understand how the girls never tired and were shocked when they almost ran them over after suddenly breaking into a sprint. Just to avoid pesky questions,the athletes bluffed that they were part of a college hockey team. The next day,an aunty walked into the park with a young girl in tow and requested us,Isko bhi apne sath le lo, says Ashwini.

As the girls became a regular feature at the park,they enjoyed the comfort of anonymity but the discomfit of strangers. It became increasingly difficult for them to run on the narrow footpaths of the park as comments about their athletic attire got more crude. Not used to running at full throttle in track pants,the girls had to compromise on their training drills.

With a flyover being built over the railway track near their house,the runners saw that as an opportunity to test their endurance,climbing uphill. Every day,early in the morning,while the labourers sipping tea at the site watched them,the golden girls from the Asian and Commonwealth Games would effortlessly conquer the ramp. That too had to be stopped after a trucker one day said something that I dont ever wish to recall, says Mandeep.

With outdoor training becoming increasingly problematic,they joined a gym that had virtually all the equipment a professional athlete would need. There,it was the constant gaze of the over-weight and the athletically challenged that put them off. The women would talk among themselves about the six new members taut muscles and flat abdomen. What have they joined a gym for? would be a loud enough whisper by envious weight-watchers that was intended for the ears of the fit misfits.

But according to Priyanka,the worst were the beefcakes with Bollywood dreams. Their kind would stand with gaping mouths as the girls fluently lifted weights that they would need support to even push. Once one of them finally mustered enough courage to come up to me and ask,Aap kya khati hain? Before Priyanka could complete the narration,the girls are in splits,as the irony of the innocent question from back then doesnt escape anyone.

Even the inadequate training in non-sporty environments has been sporadic because of the Delhi trips. On an average,the girls travel about four to five times a month to the capital for dope hearings,to hobnob with lawyers,meet athletic federation officials and seek audience with the bigwigs in the sports ministry. They explain how,in the last eight months,they have turned into Delhities and prove their credentials by fishing out Metro cards. Mandeep says the dope hearing has taken them to places they didnt even know existed. Once we had to translate the Chinese text on a food supplement box for inquiry. We went to a university campus where we spent hours to find someone who could translate it. We finally did after paying Rs 3,000, she says.

With the Delhi visits multiplying,at one stage Ashwini thought of taking up a temporary room in the capital but the Khosla ka Ghosla kind of interaction with a Preet Vihar property dealer changed her mind. Another time in Delhi,Ashwini,desperate to train,stepped out but the comment on her attire8217;s length saw her return to the hotel in tears. If we have to do road running in Delhi,we will have to wear salwar kurta,I guess, she says.

Priyanka comes up with a solution when she says that a campus with sporting environment is all they are asking for. We have been told that we are now in with a chance to run at the London Games. In case we manage to qualify,dont we need to train for that?

For Ashwini,Sini,Tiana and Jauna,no home visits have materialised due to these Delhi appointments. Sini says she was forced to go to her Kerala home after straining her ankle while running on the uneven park track. Jauna too was desperate to go to her village in Orissa but is still waiting for a 2009-dated Rs 20 lakh cheque that the sports ministry hasnt released after she tested positive. My village home has no electricity and I had plans to use the money for that. So I cant go home till Im paid the money, she says. Tiana hasnt spoken a word,and no amount of coaxing can make her budge.

On the subject of travelling home,Priyanka is reminded of an intriguing question she was asked while on a state transport bus. An old man wanted to know where I live. I said I am an athlete and live out of my bag. He replied,Acha,woh sab ladkiyan jo nashaa karti hain? Now thats the kind of awareness there is about drugs use, she says with a broad smile.

This triggers another round of jokes as Mandeep comes up with an imaginative way to meet a top sports official who has been avoiding them for a while. Once inside the building,we will start running. Then,who can catch us? she says to the mock approval of the rest of the team.

Mid-way through a cackle,Priyanka stops and says that such is the environment around them that they cant even laugh in public. Once I overheard a camera person say,Look at them,they first test positive and now they are smiling, she says. Ashwini gets in her point by saying that after the initial days of shock,when it was tough to even push water down her throat,they all decided that by just sitting home,the depression was only going to get worse.

Just as the athletes are leaving,Anand arrives in his BMW. After exchanging pleasantries,the group enters the office,talking animatedly. The Saint Bernard has been unchained and is now standing in his corner,but none of the girls even notice it. They continue to fight their fears. They know there is always a beast waiting for them at every corner.

LAP TO LONDON

The ban on Ashwini Akkunji and Priyanka Panwar gets lifted on June 26 while Sini Jose and Tiana Mary Thomas return to competition on June 11.

The quartet can participate at the June 29-July 1 All Star meet at Almaty,Kazakhstan to qualify for the Olympics.

The fate of Mandeep and Jauna would depend on the verdict by the Court of Arbitration for Sport,Lausanne,where the world body is challenging their ban period.