Into the naughtiesNow that we can finally declare an end to millennial madness, there is just one lexical Y2K problem to be cleared away as we step into the. Well, that is the problem. After an orgy of passing summary judgment on the people and events of times gone by, casting an eye forward to the great unknown ahead poses a peculiar problem. Having deconstructed the Nineties, how are we to speak of the challenges and delights in the decade we welcome today when it still does not have a name?It is a christening the creators of a quaint new website (namethedecade.com) are monitoring. The decade may not have been named, but the tenor of their message provides ample evidence of the anarchy that will reign in tomorrow's world.``What do you call the next decade?'' is the question posed to compulsive participants of Net polls.``Is it the zeros, the Y2Ks, the naughties? Who decides this and how? Well, we're tired of letting Them decide everything for us. This is our chance to choose a namefor ourselves. Join the mo-vement to decide what the next decade will be called!''Advances in genetics will soon crack nature's code and man will attempt to play god; astrophysicists may finally fathom what transpired milliseconds after the Big Bang and thereby crystal gaze into the Universe's future. However, this spirit of rational inquiry will probably not inform daily life as Netizens revel in intellectual freedoms on the World Wide Web.If an increasing number of listservs carry discussions on everything from South Asian literature to foreign affairs in a multipolar world, an abiding devotion to the one-person-one-vote norm ensures that opinion is shaped as much by an anonymous surfer as by an expert who wa-tches in bafflement as his years of research are waved away. After all, it's They versus Us.But back to the naming options for the decade that has arrived so quietly amidst millennium celebrations. The two frontrunners thus far are the naughties (``naught-ies'') and the double-o's (as in,``007''). After the politically correct nineties, naughties does have an enticing ring to it. No matter what quibbles the Seattle arsonists may have, as innocuous an expression like ``as we step into the naughties'' would be a magical charm against the stuffiness and self-righteousness that became de riguer in the nineties.Double o's? Nah. Besides exuding whiffs of nothingness, it sounds like an unabashed plug for a cinematic hero. A related title, the 0-0's (pronounced uh-oh's), which has been dismissed by most le-arned commentators, merits so-me consideration. If the naughties, while countering the sm- ugness of the nineties sounds too frivolous, uh-oh's evokes a state of perpetual astonishment, of a wide-eyed acceptance of the twists and turns that life may deliver.Here go some of the other names on offer. The millies (so-unds too much like a rock band). The zeros (too dangerous, may give unsuspecting children the impression that they have to live up to that title). The aughts (it would justtransport us back to the suffocating dos and don'ts of an Enid Blyton world). The double-aughts (even worse). The Two-K's (we surely don't need an eternal reminder of the computer glitch). The naughts (but naughties is so much better). The two-thousands (a hundred years ago, the christening tangle was solved by settling on the nineteen-hundreds, but still it is too dull). The tainties (``cause it 'taint the nineties, and it 'taint the teens,'' say the pollsters, but in an era of melting identities, it would only lead to more confusion).Now, if only software wizards could solve this one.
