The chips are down

It is said that buying a personal computer is the first step towards endless expenditure. But of course this couldn't happen to me. After...

It is said that buying a personal computer is the first step towards endless expenditure. But of course this couldn8217;t happen to me. After all, my PC was a Pentium and the vendor was convinced that this was more than a journalist could ever require. For you, even a 386 would do, he said. I forgot that the latest8217; bug is more obdurate than the Jerusalem virus. Anyway, a Pentium it was, with the necessary RAM and a hard disk that8217;d last a lifetime, said the vendor. The Rs 32,000 spent seemed worth every penny. The very next month, however, realisation dawned. A PC without a printer is of little use. So I shelled out another Rs 7,000 for a printer.

For months my PC worked like a dream. Letters which should8217;ve been written years ago were quickly drafted and dispatched. Then I decided to put my PC to real use. I would fax my stories to the office. I went shopping for a modem. I also decided to buy a CD-ROM.

The 9600 bps modem had long been replaced by the 14.4 Kbps one, which in turn had been replaced bythe 28.8 Kbps modem. In fact, I learnt that all three were outdated. The latest8217; bug struck again. It made me shell out Rs 12,000 for a 33.6 Kbps modem. Talking about CD-ROMs, a 4X drive which I had seen at a friend8217;s place a year ago was also not available. It had long ago been replaced by the 16X drive. But no one manufactures 16X drives today. So I bought a 24X and happily trotted home.

The happiness was short-lived. Installation was a nightmare and half an hour later, I realised that the modem software was for a Windows 95 system. My PC had an earlier version, Windows 3.1. Another Rs 5,400 and I was armed with a Window 95 CD. But another problem surfaced. Windows 95 needed 16 MB of RAM, which my PC didn8217;t have. Another sojourn to the market and I picked up 32 MB of RAM, just in case. While my PC8217;s configuration improved, the configuration of my pocket became lighter by another Rs 4,000.

With the RAM in place, Windows installation was a piece of cake. And hey presto! The modem ran. The next couple ofdays, I faxed my stories to the office.

But the upgradation spree continued. The modem software and Windows 95 required a lot of hard disk space. A month of use and my system slowed to a crawl. I was forced to upgrade the hard disk from 800 MB to 2100 MB or 2.1 GB. Another Rs 5,000 devoured by the monster machine.

While installing the new hard disk, the vendor asked: quot;What8217;re you still using a monochrome monitor for?quot; He sensed my irritation, but succeeded in talking me into a deal whereby I could sell my old monitor and get a colour job for Rs 6,500. Again the latest8217; bug got me. I bought a colour monitor.

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As he installed it, I saw that smile again. And it had me fuming. He hesitated. So I decided to break the ice. quot;What now?quot; I asked. quot;One last thing, you add a sound card and yours can be a multimedia machine. It8217;ll cost just Rs 800.quot; I relented, thinking this would the last time.

A new sound card, and the foolishness of the exercise became apparent. You need speakers too. quot;Quality speakers costbetween a thousand and8230;quot; I trudged to the nearest radio shop and bought the cheapest brand, teasingly named Sunny, for Rs 85 flat. By now, the upgrades had cost more than the computer. Only the motherboard and the cabinet remained of the gutted original.

Three months on, my PC is still used for drafting letters. The only difference is that the font on my screen is coloured, though the printer is still monochrome. I can listen to a CD while typing, which I could have done anyway.

Just when I was totting up the bill, the phone rang. The vendor again. quot;Now what? Have the 24X drives been replaced by 32X,quot; I teasingly asked. quot;You see, CD-ROM itself is outdated. Now it8217;s time for DVD-ROM, and the Pentium needs to be upgraded with MMX.quot; I hung up.