Talk it out

Trying to mediate between Chinese and pro-Tibetan campus protesters, I was caught in the middle and vilified and threatened by the Chinese. After the protest, the intimidation went online, and I began receiving threatening phone calls. Then it got worse8212;my parents in China were also threatened and forced to go into hiding.

It has been a frightening and unsettling experience. But I8217;m determined to speak out, even in the face of threats and abuse. So here8217;s my story.

Over Christmas break at Duke, all the American students went home, but that8217;s too expensive for students from China. Since the dorms and the dining halls were closed, I was housed off-campus with four Tibetan classmates for more than three weeks. I had never really met or talked to a Tibetan before, even though we8217;re from the same country. Every day we cooked together, ate together, played chess and cards.

I8217;d long been interested in Tibet and had a romantic vision of the Land of Snows, but I8217;d never been there. My classmates were Buddhist and had a strong faith, which inspired me to reflect on my own views about the meaning of life. I had been a materialist, as all Chinese are taught to be, but now I could see that there8217;s something more, that there8217;s a spiritual side to life.

I was reminded of all this on the evening of April 9. As I left the cafeteria planning to head to the library to study, I saw people holding Tibetan and Chinese flags facing each other in the middle of the quad. I hadn8217;t heard anything about a protest, so I was curious and went to have a look. I knew people in both groups, and I went back and forth between them, asking their views. It seemed silly to me that they were standing apart, not talking to each other. I know that this is often due to a language barrier, as many Chinese here are scientists and engineers and aren8217;t confident of their English.

A lot has been made of the fact that I wrote the words 8220;Free Tibet8221; on the back of the American organiser of the protest, who was someone I knew. But I did this at his request, and only after making him promise that he would talk to the Chinese group. I never dreamed how the Chinese would seize on this innocent action. The leaders of the two groups did at one point try to communicate, but the attempt wasn8217;t very successful.

The Chinese protesters thought that, being Chinese, I should be on their side. The participants on the Tibet side were mostly Americans, who really don8217;t have a good understanding of how complex the situation is.

But the Chinese protesters got increasingly emotional and vocal and wouldn8217;t let the other side speak. They pushed the small Tibetan group of just a dozen or so up against the Duke Chapel doors, yelling 8220;Liars, liars, liars!8221; This upset me.

Some people on the Chinese side started to insult me for speaking English and told me to speak Chinese only. But the Americans didn8217;t understand Chinese and language is a tool, a way of thinking and communicating.

At the height of the protest, a group of Chinese men surrounded me, pointed at me and, referring to the young woman who led the 1989 student democracy protests in Tiananmen Square, said, 8220;Remember Chai Ling? All Chinese want to burn her in oil, and you look like her.8221; Finally, I left the protest with a police escort.

Back in my dorm room, I logged onto the Duke Chinese Students and Scholars Association DCSSA Web site to see what people were saying. Qian Fangzhou, an officer of DCSSA, was gloating, 8220;We really showed them our colours!8221;

I posted a letter in response, explaining that I don8217;t support Tibetan independence, as some accused me of, but that I do support Tibetan freedom as well as Chinese freedom. The next morning, a storm was raging online. Photographs of me had been posted on the Internet with the words 8220;Traitor!8221; printed across my forehead. Then I saw something really alarming: both my parents8217; citizen ID numbers had been posted. This information could only have come from the Chinese police.

I saw detailed directions to my parents8217; home in China, accompanied by calls for people to go there and teach 8220;this shameless dog8221; a lesson. It was then that I realised how serious this had become. My phone rang with callers making threats against my life. I talked to my mom and she said she and my dad were going into hiding because they were getting death threats, too.

I understand why people are emotional and angry; the events in Tibet have been tragic. But crucifying me is unacceptable. Contrary to my detractors8217; expectations, I haven8217;t slunk away. Instead, I8217;ve responded by publicising this shameful incident, both to protect my parents and to get people to reflect on their behaviour.