Yes, yes, I know. I saw it. So what if I didn’t say anything? And why do I have to say something every time? Why make such a big issue of it anyway?” said my defiant husband. “It’s definitely a big issue. Not my hair but your constant, selective blindness to things. I mean my hair is so different today. It’s making me look so different. How can you not notice how I look?” I fought back.This is an excerpt from a conversation (read argument) between my spouse and I. He came back from work that evening and here I was sporting this slick, new hairstyle — strikingly different from the hastily-done, untidy bun that I wear everyday. He looked at me when he entered the house and then we made small talk. That over, I waited for some words from him. But all that came my way was silence which made me ask him if he had noticed something new about him and the argument started.Well, this was not the first time that he had missed or disregarded something. And it hasn’t been about me always, though frankly, I always get especially peeved if it is about me. I could turn the bed 180 degrees, put a frog in his tiffin or dress like a mermaid, he just never takes note. I am not only upset but also puzzled at this behavior.Why did he never notice things? And if he did, like he always claimed, why did he never say anything? Just anything. Excuse me for the exaggeration but I can easily spot every new white strand he gets, all the blackheads on his nose, loose threads on his shirt.Many such knockabouts have happened between us and will continue to happen, or so it seems. What makes it tragic-comic is that this is a common grouse that many women, across cultures and continents, have against their boyfriends or spouses. And though film-makers and writers have made big moolah with their best-sellers on the whys and whats of men and their indifference, nothing seems to have changed for me and lakhs of other befuddled women. Dramatic new research reveals that it is the difference in “wiring” between male and female brains that makes them perceive the world differently. Books of the ‘Men are from Mars, Women from Venus’ variety offer many plausible and some imaginative answers. Like, men have tunnel vision and women a bird’s eye view. Yet, most of these theories, at best, partially succeed in demystifying the enigma. Meanwhile, the arguments continue.
