Future: Tense

I had seen this little ad tucked away in an international newspaper. All I had to do was to dial 11 digits and the two numbers indicated aga...

I had seen this little ad tucked away in an international newspaper. All I had to do was to dial 11 digits and the two numbers indicated against my sun sign and get an insight into my destiny.

If I could trust the crystal ball8217;s weekly predictions in the local daily, I was 8216;supposed to make a lot of contacts this week8217;. I hoped that it would include the telephonic ones, too. I therefore picked up the instrument with practiced insouciance and dialled my way to the stars above.

The Crystal Ball was right. I could detect the clear ring a few continents away, and a robotic voice began predicting the year ahead for me. But that wasn8217;t what I wanted. I squinted at the page. I had to press 8216;28217; for 8216;finance8217; that would evaluate my portfolio through tarot cards. If I dialled 8216;68217; I would get to 8216;compatibility8217; that would tell me how I got along with my partner.

And what of the credit card bill? The problem was that I hadn8217;t read the weekly prediction any further. How could the crystal ball ever go wrong? 8216;A total rethinking of your situation may be necessary if you are to secure any financial advantage8217;.

I wonder how many of us busy ones begin the day with a thought to what this newspaper column had to say on your days ahead. Last week, for instance, 8216;an accident in store for writers8217; screamed Mystery Gypsy8217;s popular column. 8216;Professionals on the move will have to watch the traffic8217;, the stars continue to warn me. I am too scared to get out to work. The sun was obvious leaving the fifth house.

8216;You will face a serious confrontation with elders, ending in quarrels8217;, doomed the Daily Herald. Actually someone had brought this juicy rag home, knowing my self-imposed imprisonment for fear of speeding cars. 8216;Family men watch out for unexpected guests tonight!8217;

All this is too much to digest for a day. I wonder how doomsday prophets could be so cruel on a poor Geminian huddled up in a bed, waiting for the moon to slink somewhere beyond the clouds into Taurus as the crystal ball had warned.

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Probably I should throw out the star-charts and watch a movie instead.

But the latest issue of The Astrologer boldly cautions me to 8216;watch my eyesight this week8217;8230;