Fool146;s Gold

This is fool8217;s gold all right. Easy to mistake for the real thing, till you realise that you can get a glittering star cast as that 8212; going on the bluest waters and in the tiniest bikinis off Miami for a treasure hunt 8212; with Ray Winstone putting in a brief appearance, and still dig up nothing.

Benn/Finn McConaughey and Tess Hudson have just got divorced, and as it happens in the movies, it is for the same reasons as got them together in the first place: he lives and dies for hunting treasure, and she has obviously just realised this doesn8217;t translate into a steady supply of monthly rent.

But now they may have stumbled on the whereabouts of the one treasure they have been obsessed about 8212; and so, though you, me, the rest of the ship8217;s crew and the fish know it otherwise 8212; they insist they are coming together only for one last exploration.

Tennant and the screenwriters try to put together everything in this adventure: a dash of romance, a bit of humour which served McConaughey and Hudson quite well in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, some thrills, underwater and in-the-sky fighting, a millionaire Sutherland longing for the love of her daughter, a daughter who asks questions like 8220;The seas are all connected, right?8221;, and the gay couple now obligatory for every romance.

The result is a movie with its heart all over the place. So much is happening at the same time that there is not a single character you care for 8212; Finn is too shallow, Tess too selfish, the millionaire too sad 8212; or who you particularly root for to lay his/her hands on the treasure. You even find yourself sympathising entirely with the Spanish teen who ensured the treasure remained hidden for 300 years.

In earlier times, this would have been Sutherland and Winstone8217;s film, as commandeers of their respective vessels. As it is, they have to stand back and watch McConaughey and Hudson make a mess of it.

The sad part is that they don8217;t even look that good. McConaughey is the Goldilocks here and his pretty face takes an amazing number of thrashings, while Hudson looks curiously washed out. None of that luminous smile to put some shine on Fool8217;s Gold.

Surprisingly the person who does that is the millionaire8217;s daughter, played with nice originality by Alexis Dziena. The skin show notwithstanding, she puts some flesh on the classic bimbette act. This is Paris Hilton, softer, sans the dog and the paparazzi. Plus, she actually seems to get the entire yarn about the treasure and how it got to be where it is. That8217;s some talent.