Fire alarm

Mumbai's morality brigade has rendered yeoman service to the cause of national morality yet again. It has saved people from an instant de...

Mumbai8217;s morality brigade has rendered yeoman service to the cause of national morality yet again. It has saved people from an instant debauchery, like it did when cultural commissar Pramod Navalkar ruled that rock music is alien to Indian culture in April. What8217;s all this fuss over some window panes being smashed and posters burnt in a Mumbai cinema theatre anyway? The end more than justifies the means. Those virtuous women of the Shiv Sena Mahila Aghadi deserve the nation8217;s salutations for stamping out Deepa Mehta8217;s unholy Fire.

Their cause, remember, is a civilisational one: to preserve the country from moral contamination, to ensure that human reproduction has a bright and happy future. It8217;s a question of saving womankind for mankind. Just listen to what that nice lady from the Shiv Sena Mahali Aghadi said after storming the Cinemax theatre in Mumbai on Wednesday: 8220;If women8217;s physical needs get fulfilled through lesbian acts, the institution of marriage will collapse8221;. Well said, sister, wellsaid. With women like her, Indian marriages are in safe hands.

Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, in case you were planning to sneak off and see this 8220;perverted8221; film depicting 8212; how can it even be expressed in words? 8212; lesbian acts, you are advised to sit at home and read something morally edifying and spiritually uplifting like Bal Thackeray8217;s Collected Speeches instead. In case there are some who continue to harbour the illusion that they, having cut their milk teeth, graduated from college, and reached the age of discretion, can decide for themselves whether Deepa Mehta8217;s film is worthy of their attention and money, perish the thought.

This is to reiterate, once and for all, that being over 18 may make an individual eligible to vote, but is still no guarantee that he/she has acquired full control over his/her baser instincts. Above all, the pure Bharatiya nari needs to be protected, not so much from the thugs who harass and rape, but from her own clearly dangerous sexual urges andimpulses.

After all, hasn8217;t it been said in a hundred tongues spoken in towns and villages all over the country that a woman, a donkey and a drum must all be beaten? How else can they be controlled anyway?

It cannot be denied that freedom of expression is the cornerstone of civil liberty. But this freedom can surely be enjoyed only by those who have the moral authority to do so. That8217;s why, while Deepa Mehta8217;s right to express herself is highly suspect, that of the Shiv Sena Mahila Aghadi to break the window panes and shout slogans is absolute.

That8217;s why while some rock bands need to be carefully monitored by the Stage Performance Scrutiny Board, Michael Jackson can moonwalk all over Mumbai because he has the Shiv Sena8217;s permission to do so. Artistic licence is a recognised feature of civil society, true. But when artistic licence degenerates into artistic licentiousness, it8217;s time to set art on fire.