Exes and Uh-Ohs

What do you do after 11 marriages? You write about them

What do you do after 11 marriages? You write about them

Bonnie Ashley has grouped together all seven of her ex-husbands. She scanned their images on a sheet of paper that she often shows folks eager to know how she managed to get married and divorced 11 times8212;tying and severing the knot with two of the men three times each8212;and why the unions lasted anywhere from 45 days to just under five years.

To hear the author of the self-published book Ex-Husband in Freezer describe each man is to know that she can really pick 8217;em.

Her marriage to husband No. 1 was doomed to fail. She only married him to leave the home of her father, a dictatorial, domineering minister.

Husband No. 2 was a terrific companion but had weird ways about him; sexually. She married and divorced him three times, going through bouts of non-fulfilment with him and loneliness without him.

Husband No. 3? A consummate womaniser. No. 4 had a volatile temper; she left him after he threatened her. She left No. 5 after finding nude photos of him and another man. No. 6 was a minister with an uncontrollable pornography addiction. And No. 7 whom she married thrice was good for passion and intimacy but little else.

Meet the woman whose marital history is probably enough to make oft-married actors utter, 8220;Whoa!8221; Ashley, 53, is real estate agent with a warm smile, charming demeanour and a woeful penchant for hooking up with the wrong guy.

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She8217;s also one of the most sought-after guests on the talk-radio and television circuit, delighting listeners with stories about a marital life that began with her first marriage in 1974 and ended with her last divorce two years ago.

Ashley8217;s marital misfortunes bring to mind celebrities known for their multiple spouses 8212; bandleader Artie Shaw married and divorced eight times, actress Zsa Zsa Gabor nine marriages, seven divorces and an annulment, actresses Elizabeth Taylor eight marriages, seven divorces and Lana Turner eight marriages, including one with Shaw, and seven divorces.

When reporters have asked for proof that she8217;s been married and divorced 11 times, she produces legal documents: marriage licence applications, licences and divorce papers.

Ashley grew up in a close-knit, conservative church community where females were subordinates who didn8217;t wear make-up, jewellery wedding rings included, slacks or skirts with hems above the knees. Branded as loud and obnoxious by her family, she rebelled against her environment, then thrust herself into an adult world.

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8220;I was taught that you grow up and get married. A woman doesn8217;t go to college. She doesn8217;t go to work. She stays home and has as many children as she can and irons sheets and his underwear. When I got married directly out of high school, I didn8217;t love this man; I just wanted to get out of my father8217;s house.

8220;I8217;m not blaming him for all my marriages and divorces,8221; Ashley added about her father. 8220;But my father called any unmarried woman over 25 an old maid. So every time I8217;d get divorced, I8217;d start hearing that 8220;old maid, old maid, old maid8221;. I would just find someone and marry him. Why they married me, I don8217;t know.8221;

For now, Ashley is done with marriage: 8220;I8217;m learning how to be fun and single.8221;
-Joe Burris The Baltimore Sun