Consultant146;s con

There's a story doing the rounds these days about the smartly dressed young man driving a swanky BMW somewhere in the Australian outback. He...

There8217;s a story doing the rounds these days about the smartly dressed young man driving a swanky BMW somewhere in the Australian outback. He is forced to stop because a large flock of sheep is crossing the road. The guy steps out of the car, glances at the great mass of wool moving from left to right and asks the shepherd if he would let him pick one sheep of his choice if he can tell exactly how many are there in all. The latter laughs and agrees. 8216;8216;4355,8217;8217; blurts out our brash friend almost immediately. 8216;8216;Wow, I am impressed,8217;8217; says the simple villager, 8216;8216;Now, if I tell you, sir, who you are, will you give me your car?8217;8217; The city slicker laughs aloud, picks up his reward8212;a big fat sheep8212;and responds smugly. 8216;8216;Sure, go ahead, in fact I8217;ll give you three guesses.8217;8217; 8216;8216;Management consultant,8217;8217; is the simple fellow8217;s equally smug, almost instantaneous, answer.

Our man is stumped. 8216;8216;This is amazing. Indeed, I am a management consultant. Of course I8217;ll give you my car. But pray, do tell me how did you guess?8217;8217; 8216;8216;Simple,8217;8217; says the shepherd, 8216;8216;you come here uninvited, tell me something I already know and want to be paid for the same. Only a consultant can do that. But, sir, I8217;m afraid, you8217;re not as smart as you think. What you8217;ve picked up is not a sheep, it8217;s the dog!8217;8217;

India8217;s market driven economy has seen a surfeit of consultants. Anyone, in fact, can add this suffix to the name. Of course, you either become one after you8217;ve done everything else 8212; when you8217;ve arrived in the real sense 8212; or when you simply can8217;t get any job!

Now, whenever I narrate the shepherd8217;s story to my good friend Chottu8212;the protagonist in my first ever middle, 8216;The bare truth8217;, he protests vehemently. After all he is a consultant and must guard his reputation. To bolster my argument, I8217;ve to invariably narrate two more incidents.

Three professionals8212;a surgeon, a lawyer and a consultant8212;were having a conversation as to whose profession is older. The good doctor stakes his claim based on the biblical story about the earth having been 8216;carved8217; out of the debris of the Big Bang. The lawyer refutes this stoutly and offers his own logic backed by the 8216;celestial confusion8217; that was sorted out by his predecessors. Finally, our consultant friend ridicules both and comes out with the clincher, 8216;8216;Who, do you think created the confusion in the first place?8217;8217; Obviously, there were no more arguments.

Chottu is, of course, not convinced. He vociferously denies the broadly accepted definition of a consultant as someone who borrows your watch to tell you the time of the day and then sends you a bill for the service rendered.