‘We’re science guys’: Raghu Ram reveals why he wouldn’t want his son to be religious; how parents can raise independent thinkers without imposing beliefs

But while Raghu insists on giving his son the freedom to form his own thoughts, there’s one area where he draws the line: religion. “I’d be disappointed. I’d talk to him about it. We’re science guys,” said Raghu on the Two Girls & Two Cups podcast. “I tell everyone my son can be whatever he wants to be. When somebody asked, ‘What if he wants to be religious?’ and I actually fell down. I’d be disappointed.”

Raghu, a confessed atheist, also addressed misconceptions about atheism. “People ask me why I hate God, but that’s the wrong notion,” he explained. “I am an atheist. Atheism is not believing; I don’t hate God — that’s called an anti-theist. Similarly, feminazis are not feminists; they are misandrists, but they spoil the name of feminists by calling themselves that.”

So, when a parent has strong personal beliefs — whether religious or non-religious — how can they encourage their child to think independently without imposing those views?

Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “Children learn most from what they see, not what they are told. When a parent shows curiosity, respect for different ideas, and the courage to question their own thinking, the child learns that independent thought is valued.”

He adds that such openness gives the child “psychological permission to think freely.” Independence does not grow from instruction; it grows from dialogue. When parents listen without judgment and make space for disagreement, the child feels both guided and respected. The goal is not to create a copy of one’s beliefs, but to raise a mind that can think, reflect, and choose with awareness.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Raghu Ram (@instaraghu) 

Can a parent’s visible rejection or disappointment in their child’s beliefs impact the child’s sense of autonomy or emotional security?

“Yes, it can,” notes Raj, adding that children are “highly sensitive to emotional reactions,” even before they understand the reasons behind them. When a parent’s disappointment becomes visible, the child can interpret it as rejection of who they are rather than what they believe. 

Over time, this may create guilt, shame, or secrecy. The child might start hiding their thoughts to avoid losing affection or approval. Emotional security depends on knowing that love is unconditional. Parents need to hold space for difference, even when they feel strongly. A child who feels accepted despite disagreement grows up with stronger self-esteem and a more stable sense of identity, states the expert.

Healthy ways for parents to discuss sensitive topics like religion, language, or morality with their children

Begin with curiosity instead of correction, says Raj. “Ask what the child thinks and feels before expressing your own view. Use stories, examples, and lived experiences rather than fixed statements. Keep the tone calm and genuine.”

“Acknowledge that beliefs can evolve over time. When parents create an environment where questions are welcome and no topic is off limits, children learn to think deeply, not defensively. That is how independent, emotionally secure minds are formed,” concludes Raj.