Catch me a catch

On the upside, I love shopping. And I have a clue or two to what women want.

Then why can8217;t I have a wife? Someone preferably like my grandmother, who never gave her husband any trouble as long as she had a free hand with the household, and which sensible husband would ever object to that!. Admitted, her home would never have made it to housekeeping glossies, but I still have fond memories of her hot luchis and delicious mutton curry. And she always remembered to boil me an egg when I went visiting.

Of course, I would make no such demand of my wife 8212; unless she absolutely insists.

The requirements, in the main, are simple. She will have to look after my home and 8212; to be adopted 8212; kid and dog; have my favourite dishes ready when I come home; have a ready ear when I want to hold forth and have sympathy for my pet peeves.

For my part, I will be generous. I will not be a couch potato during cricket season. I will not spend the after-work hours in a pub with booze buddies okay, just the weekends. I will watch sentimental flicks and have vats of gossip to dish out. I will even call it an 8216;open marriage8217; if she promises not to elope.

As offers go, that I think is reasonable.

So dear reader, in case you are not available, will you introduce me to your grandmother?