A home truth

The other day, in the metro, I saw one passenger drawing his friend8217;s attention to a young woman trying to find seats for her two small...

The other day, in the metro, I saw one passenger drawing his friend8217;s attention to a young woman trying to find seats for her two small kids. 8220;Poor Shanti! It must be tough on her to manage the home and also work at the office. She is a 8216;working mother.8217;8221;

The phrase took me back by forty years. I had just been taken on by a leading industrial house as an executive. It was my first job. I had my initial training under Suhasini Sengupta, a senior executive, who was a couple of years older to me. She was confident, efficient and cheerful. My admiration for her soared when I learnt that she had two young children, a five-year-old boy as naughty as Dennis the Menace and a three-year-old daughter who was a bundle of mischief.

One day, during a coffee break, I commented, 8220;It must be tough for you to manage office and home8221;. I was paying her a compliment.

8220;What makes you think so?8221; her eyes fixed me with a questioning look.

8220;I think all working mothers are performing double duty,8221; I hedged.

8220;How could you be so dense, Murthi? 8220;I pity you for believing that only women who have families and also work at offices are working mothers8221;.

8220;Did I say something wrong?8221; I asked, in all innocence. 8220;Wrong? I think you are myopic, blind to reality,8221; she broke off and then asked, 8220;Tell me about your mother. Did she work for a living?8221;

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8220;No.8221; 8220;So, she had no work to do. She spent all the time twiddling her thumbs,8221; Suhasini didn8217;t mince words.

8220;Oh, no. My poor dear Amma! She was up before dawn. I never saw her go to bed before eleven at night. Nor did I see her rest during the day. She had her hands full, what with a father who believed he ran an open house. What with six children, each one capricious, each one whimsical, each one demanding, indulging in fights and fisticuffs when we found ourselves in opposite camps, making mother work as a cop and a judge to restore peace. On festival days, she had to single-handedly prepare special delicacies to be offered to the Gods. We, the children, were happy the Gods didn8217;t really take a bite of what was offered. The delicacies were all ours. But mother never groaned or complained. I think she truly followed Gita8217;s dictum, Karmanyeva adhikarasthe, maa phaleshu kadachana.8221; 8220;Yet you think she was not a working mother?8217; Suhasini broke in.

8220;She was. But8230;8221; I spluttered.

8220;Remember, Murthi, every mother works. Some stay at home and work. Some others, like me, work at home and also in the office. But every woman works,8221; she took a meaningful pause, before adding, 8220;The phrase 8216;working mother8217;, therefore, is redundant.8221;