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Being in a relationship is one of the most important needs of a human being and we will seek a genuine meaningful connection in that aspect. So we need to have a healthy relationship with our partner based on respect and trust where we and our partner can flourish together. And that can happen if we have healthy boundaries in place. “Boundaries that are permeable yet the partners have their individual spaces, so that they feel safe, are necessary,” said Arouba Kabir, emotional and mental health professional, and founder, Enso Wellness.
As a therapist, in today’s times, the boundaries, which she feels are required in a relationship are:
Physical boundaries: Just because you are in love does not mean can you be together 24*7. Give each other physical space as it is important for everyone to grow. Respect each other’s personal space and consent. We have to try communicating openly about the need and the discomfort.
Emotional boundaries: Partners may come from different upbringings, experiences, and backgrounds. “So the way we show, express, or feel things/emotions could be different. Respect each other’s feelings, privacy, and emotional space. Avoid belittling or disregarding each other’s emotions,” said Arouba.
Sexual boundaries: It is crucial to have healthy and consensual sexual boundaries in a relationship. “Communication, consent, comfort, level, acceptance, and respecting sexual boundaries is essential to ensuring that all parties feel safe and can build deeper connection via intimacy,” Arouba described.
Digital boundaries: We have seen and heard enough stories about how people are physically together yet emotionally and mentally apart and one of the reasons is digitalisation. “So it is very important for us to establish guidelines for technology use within the relationship. At the same time, it is very important for us, not to go through each other’s personal digital spaces, even if the partner is comfortable with it,” said Arouba.
Communication boundaries: Be ready to have uncomfortable communication too. “We can have communication about difficult topics, emotions, situations, which is important for all of us to learn. Listening actively, avoiding interrupting, or refraining from raising your voice during disagreements are some things we can begin with,” Arouba mentioned.
What’s your takeaway?
Healthy relationships need to have a strong emotional foundation where you feel safe to learn from past mistakes. If the relationships are built on mutual respect and trust, it creates an environment where all parties can fully enjoy and experience things beautifully, Arouba mentioned.
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