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Journalism of Courage
Breakups can bring an intense sense of loneliness and introspection, but actor Arjun Kapoor, who confirmed his split from Malaika Arora last month, has a unique perspective on the importance of emotional independence.
In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter India, Kapoor shared how he first confronted loneliness following his mother’s passing in 2014, a period compounded by his sister Anshula living far away. “I was dealing with my mom’s loss, and my sister was in Delhi, so the house was empty,” he explained.
Though he received a surge of attention as a rising star, it wasn’t the connection he craved personally. Reflecting on his recent experiences, he noted that he’s learning to prioritise self-care: “Being selfish is looked at slightly in the wrong way, but I guess it’s not selfish. It’s just I was not okay because of other things.”
For Kapoor, emotional independence is crucial, even in relationships, to prevent projecting personal struggles onto others. He explained, “Relationships fulfill you but if you’re not okay, you need to figure that out. You can’t project that on a relationship or other people.”
Discussing this further, he said, “It’s very tricky to speak about it and know because I think I’ve got to respect the way things have been. I don’t like to go into details for that reason, but I will never ever crisscross the two things. I think what my issues in the beginning part of my life are not correlated to where I am today.”
His reflections highlight how over-reliance on a partner can pose future challenges if one’s sense of stability is neglected.
“Independence is about maintaining our own separate identity, making decisions and working on personal goals and ambitions,” Anuckriti Garg, a mental health counsellor, tells indianexpress.com, adding that interdependence is more about collaboration and the mutual give and take in a relationship, relying on one another for support and care.
“To strike a balance between the two, it’s important to set boundaries. Boundaries allow us to set limits and rules for ourselves in relationships and interactions, they help identify where we end and another person begins,” she says.
To make these boundaries and build a healthy relationship, she says, it helps to maintain clear and effective communication, check-in with each other from time to time, be compassionate towards oneself and one another, spend time together and recognise where there is dependency and addressing them.
Garg mentions, “When going through a difficult life stage or feeling overwhelmed, we might need more support and care. At such times, we must reach out and ask for help from close friends, family members, community members, as well as helplines and professional mental health support.”
It is also important for us to work on our self-care such as writing our thoughts down, journaling, incorporating movement into our daily lives, and spending time doing things we like, Garg highlights.
“In our society, we can often have an unrealistic view of relationships, a lot of us believe that having that one romantic partner in our life will rid us of our loneliness and feelings of emptiness. Our partners can be there for us but they may not always be equipped to provide emotional support and that’s okay, we need to check in with them and perhaps ask if they are in the space to listen to us and support us at this moment,” she highlights.
