4 min readNew DelhiOct 30, 2024 03:57 PM IST
First published on: Oct 30, 2024 at 03:57 PM IST
Being a single mother comes with its own unique set of challenges, and actor Neena Gupta has always been open about her experiences.
In a recent interview with Brut India, she shared with content creator Kusha Kapila how her decision not to ask for financial or emotional support for her child played a crucial role in her journey as a single mother. “I realised two things which were very useful for my dignity at that time. One was I didn’t ask for money from others for my child. And I never asked for emotional support from others for my child.”
She explained that this independence allowed her to maintain relationships without burdening others with expectations, ensuring that people didn’t hesitate to offer companionship. She continued, “So what happened when I didn’t ask for both these things, then people were not scared to come… and wish me to come, and you know, be with me.”
The Panchayat actor spoke about making a lot of sacrifices for her daughter, Masaba. “I had no other happiness in my life but my child. I never went to parlours. You know I never did all those things a woman wants to do.”
Gupta provides an insight into how societal perceptions and personal boundaries can shape a parent’s experience.
But how much does this approach affect the well-being of both parent and child?
Neha Cadabam, senior psychologist at Cadabams Hospitals, tells indianexpress.com, “The decision to avoid seeking financial or emotional support can have complex effects on a single parent’s mental and emotional health. Research has shown that self-reliance can enhance feelings of competence and autonomy, key components of psychological well-being, as suggested by Self-Determination Theory (SDT).”
However, she adds, prolonged self-reliance without support can lead to chronic stress and emotional burnout. “The absence of a support system can also reduce opportunities for emotional venting or social validation, which can help mitigate stress. Social support — even informal support from friends or family — has been shown to act as a protective factor against anxiety and depression in single parents,” says Cadabam.
Notes Cadabam, children raised by parents who face challenges independently without external emotional support can experience both positive and negative effects. On the one hand, they may witness their parents’ resilience and develop a strong sense of self-reliance themselves. However, a lack of external emotional support can sometimes mean that children do not have access to the emotional scaffolding they need during critical developmental stages.
Children raised by parents who face challenges independently, without external emotional support, can experience both positive and negative effects (Source: Freepik)
Role of societal stigma or fear of judgement in discouraging single parents from seeking help
Cadabam informs, “Yes, societal stigma and the fear of judgement often discourage single parents from seeking help, even when it may be necessary. Studies show that social stigma associated with single parenthood, particularly for women, can increase feelings of shame and self-blame, leading individuals to avoid reaching out for support.”
She continues, “Research on perceived social support indicates that single mothers are less likely to seek help due to the fear of being labelled as needy or incapable. A 2019 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology revealed that single parents often internalise these societal expectations, leading to isolation and reduced social interactions. The fear of appearing dependent can further exacerbate feelings of loneliness and psychological distress.”
Neena Gupta on being a single mother (Source: Neena Gupta/Instagram) 
Children raised by parents who face challenges independently, without external emotional support, can experience both positive and negative effects (Source: Freepik)
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