Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole; By Susan Cain; Penguin Viking; 310 pages; Rs 799
Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole By Susan Cain Penguin Viking 310 pages Rs 799
A decade ago, amid the implosion of social media, and motivational speakers urging people to put themselves out there, American writer Susan Cain posited a contrarian view in her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (2012).
What if, she asked, in pathologising introversion in a world full of sociable, confident people, we were denying acknowledgment to the creativity and contemplation of those who felt deeply but could not or would not vocalise it with the same fervour? Cain traced the change in societal attitudes to introverts to the Industrial Revolution of the early 20th century when agricultural societies transformed into industrial economies, giving rise to what she termed as the “extrovert ideal”.
“The new economy called for a new kind of man — a salesman, a social operator, someone with a ready smile, a masterful handshake, and the ability to get along with colleagues while simultaneously outshining them,” she wrote of the American culture of hustle that could hold true in any other part of the world as well. How to win friends and influence people, she explained, was really about putting forward a carefully manicured version of oneself and cultivating sociability as a tool for self-aggrandisement.
Part self-help, part philosophy, part research and analysis, Quiet put forward a compelling argument that won Cain many admirers and catapulted the book to bestseller lists as a contemporary classic. Her new book, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, picks up from where she left off in Quiet. It focuses on the depth of the “melancholic direction” and why a culture’s neglect of its regenerative potential can be inhibiting.
“The bittersweet is also about the recognition that light and dark, birth and death — bitter and sweet — are forever paired,” she writes. Coming on the heels of Covid-19’s unprecedented devastation, Bittersweet espouses the compassion instinct to forge connections, even if the pandemic remains on the periphery of her narrative.
Cain makes important connections between toxic positivity and 21st century’s own special hell — the private struggle with anxiety and feelings of insecurity. She knits together her own struggles with those of other people, examines music (Leonard Cohen is her patron saint) and philosophy, and follows “a centuries-old trail laid by artists, writers, contemplatives, and wisdom traditions from all over the world…contemporary psychologists, scientists, and even management researchers” to forge a response to pain. It involves, in the end, an acknowledgment of its presence in our lives and turning it into art, innovation, and, ultimately, into healing.
Story continues below this ad
But Bittersweet’s test lies elsewhere. Quiet, despite its criticism of approaching things in binaries that overlooked those on the margins, rang true because of the originality of its argument. In Bittersweet, the binary — sanguine and happy — poses a problem as it fails to include a larger milieu, struggling with a world slowly spinning out of its axis, despite its awareness of the need for mindfulness, despite its longing for beauty, art and empathy.
(Explained Books appears every Saturday. It summarises the core argument of an important work of non-fiction.)
Paromita Chakrabarti is Senior Associate Editor at the The Indian Express. She is a key member of the National Editorial and Opinion desk and writes on books and literature, gender discourse, workplace policies and contemporary socio-cultural trends.
Professional Profile
With a career spanning over 20 years, her work is characterized by a "deep culture" approach—examining how literature, gender, and social policy intersect with contemporary life.
Specialization: Books and publishing, gender discourse (specifically workplace dynamics), and modern socio-cultural trends.
Editorial Role: She curates the literary coverage for the paper, overseeing reviews, author profiles, and long-form features on global literary awards.
Recent Notable Articles (Late 2025)
Her recent writing highlights a blend of literary expertise and sharp social commentary:
1. Literary Coverage & Nobel/Booker Awards
"2025 Nobel Prize in Literature | Hungarian master of apocalypse" (Oct 10, 2025): An in-depth analysis of László Krasznahorkai’s win, exploring his themes of despair and grace.
"Everything you need to know about the Booker Prize 2025" (Nov 10, 2025): A comprehensive guide to the history and top contenders of the year.
"Katie Kitamura's Audition turns life into a stage" (Nov 8, 2025): A review of the novel’s exploration of self-recognition and performance.
2. Gender & Workplace Policy
"Karnataka’s menstrual leave policy: The problem isn’t periods. It’s that workplaces are built for men" (Oct 13, 2025): A viral opinion piece arguing that modern workplace patterns are calibrated to male biology, making women's rights feel like "concessions."
"Best of Both Sides: For women’s cricket, it’s 1978, not 1983" (Nov 7, 2025): A piece on how the yardstick of men's cricket cannot accurately measure the revolution in the women's game.
3. Social Trends & Childhood Crisis
"The kids are not alright: An unprecedented crisis is brewing in schools and homes" (Nov 23, 2025): Writing as the Opinions Editor, she analyzed how rising competition and digital overload are overwhelming children.
4. Author Interviews & Profiles
"Fame is another kind of loneliness: Kiran Desai on her Booker-shortlisted novel" (Sept 23, 2025): An interview regarding The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny.
"Once you’ve had a rocky and unsafe childhood, you can’t trust safety: Arundhati Roy" (Aug 30, 2025): A profile on Roy’s recent reflections on personal and political violence.
Signature Beats
Gender Lens: She frequently critiques the "borrowed terms" on which women navigate pregnancy, menstruation, and caregiving in the corporate world.
Book Reviews: Her reviews often draw parallels between literature and other media, such as comparing Richard Osman’s The Impossible Fortune to the series Only Murders in the Building (Oct 25, 2025). ... Read More
4 min read
